I shook my head. "It's not just about that," I replied. "I understand how it's supposed to work. I was fostered by the best example of how Kushiel's mercy does work. And mayhap if I had been raised knowing of my lineage, had gained that understanding while growing up as most Shahrizai children did, I would not have such concerns."

I paused, frowning slightly. "I betimes have difficulty separating that from...my own past. From what I saw, from what was done to me at the hands of the Mahrkagir and his men."