girlsolo | [Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

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[Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

Kate's back to drinking tequila again. That's never a good sign. Tonight it's a sign she's bouncing between sexy check-in notes with Declan that make this island seem all right and people like Coraline screaming and crying over how much it fucking sucks.

The smart thing to do would be find Will or Magnus, talk some of this out. Even finding someone to spar with, that would work. Thing is, Kate's not that kind of smart. When it comes to helping Coraline? Sure. Yeah. She's been listening to Will do his shrink thing for years now. But when it comes to herself?

Fuck that noise. She'd still rather fuck and forget.

Kate leans her back against a post to watch the room, drinks another shot (hot wheels only, no training), and flirts at whatever makes eye contact. Whether she's Go or just Show, she hasn't decided yet. Mostly, she's trying not to look for anyone in particular. She's trying not to wish he'd come in and just...

Take her home.

[OOC: Find her at the Hub or the Winchester (let me know) any evening between now and the 20th. Available for all of your Freelander needs. If you need a specific date, email me, otherwise I'll work them out. For the record, Kate's very bi but a lot less available than she thinks she is.]

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"Don't I know it," Kate answers, settling back with a quiet smirk. Aidan probably doesn't give a fuck what she's done. Not in the same way Declan doesn't care. Declan cares, he just doesn't hate her for it. Aidan just plain doesn't care.

On the one hand, it's kind of the hottest thing about him. Like Tesla. As bad as she is, it's never going to bug him. Even if she goes back to being the old Kate Freelander, it won't. On the other hand, she's been there before and she knows where that goes. It goes down dark roads.

"Haven't seen much of you around. What's that about?"

Whatever Kate has done here or in the past, Aidan doubts it could be as bad as the things he's done. Perhaps the worst part is that he hasn't done those horrible things once, but over and over again.

"My girlfriend just had her baby, so I've been a bit preoccupied with that," he said. He didn't make it over casual, like he was trying to slip it in there and give her a heads up, that would have been ridiculous. He didn't even try to hide the affection that flowed into his voice when he talked about it. It's just what had happened, nothing more and nothing less.

Kate lifts an eyebrow at him, quirk of her mouth not jealous but looking like she might just take his ass down if he answers her wrong. "She your girlfriend and pregnant when we were splintering doors?"

Might not be her business. Maybe they were all "love as thou wilt" like Tesla's PYT, whatever the hell that meant. But if she finds he's been cheating on a pregnant chick and using her to do it, it'll become her business.

"She was pregnant when she got here, from someone in her world," Aidan explained. He wasn't defensive about it, because he could understand how the timing of it all would make her suspect and how she would want to know.

"And she and I weren't dating while you and I got together," he reassured her. No, that had been when he was denying that there was more than just friends with benefits feelings with Martha.

Kate presses her lips together with an accepting nod. "Take it this means no more booty calls for you?"

She kinda hopes it does. The way he told her, it sounded like he cares about her. Kate likes Aidan well enough to want something like that for him. If that's what he wants.

Doesn't slip her notice, either, it's one less temptation. One less sure thing if she starts freaking out about her and Declan. If she decides she can do it.

"Not unless Martha has some urges that I just can't satisfy," he said, giving a grin and allowing his mind a moment to play with that thought just a bit.

Aidan was definitely glad to be with Martha though. It was scary, in some ways, but something that he thought was more than worth the risk.

"What about you? Haven't seen any notes from you in my mailbox since the first time."

At the mention of notes in the mailbox, Kate presses her lips together and shrugs. Her mind goes immediately to the black dress conversation she and Declan had, and the new one about what she's been thinking about him.

She reaches for the beer she's been chasing the tequila with and pulls it closer to her but doesn't drink. "Friend from home. It's..." Kate sighs, but it's not really an unhappy sound. "Complicated."

"Then you..." Aidan said, motioning to the bartender again. "Definitely need another shot and not just a beer."

Nearly all relationships were complicated, but he could imagine for someone like Kate, they were probably more so. He didn't claim to know her that well, but sex, no matter how "casual" is an intimate thing and he'd been with Kate enough times to know that any sort of romantic addition to a relationship would be complicated.

Kate snorts, but doesn't reject the suggestion. "It's not that...well, actually, yeah it is."

She's not fucking a guy she's crazy about because she can't commit to not fucking anyone else. And not fucking him is the proof she's got of how he's different. Kate shakes her head.

"Yeah. It really is."

"So do you want ages old wisdom about relationships being double edged swords or more immediately practical advice that tequila is the best liquor for temporarily forgetting things like that?"

Aidan had to fight down the urge to instantly offer advice or to comfort her. His natural instinct, or maybe just his defense mechanism, was to nurture. Kate was definitely not the type of person who wanted or would appreciate it right now.

"Might be best to skip the advice until you hear the problem," Kate snarks, and watches intently for her tequila shot. She's not even sure how to say it, but she figures Aidan will get it if she can.

"If I do this, talk to you about it, this isn't an open invitation to comment. Also, you tell anyone else and I'll kick your ass. Yeah?" It's not really nasty. Just a little...sharp-edged. Kate's wound tighter than a spring tonight.

"Trust me I'm... very good about keeping my mouth shut and keeping secrets," he said, giving her a half smile. When the shots arrived, Aidan lifted his up to her before downing it, feeling the liquid burn down his throat.

He doesn't hold the tone of her voice against her, either. That's just Kate, she's sharp a lot of the times and he knows she doesn't mean anything by it. When she does mean something by it, he has no doubt that will be very obvious.

Kate tosses the shot back without another word. She wants to put her head on her arms on the counter. Or maybe just to hide her head. She's not sure. The alcohol makes desires a little fuzzy.

"It's complicated." It seems to need repeating. She and Declan are complicated. "We probably would've hooked up at home. But we work for different branches of the same organization, so we don't see each other that often." Kate lifts her beer to her mouth and takes a small sip, then sets it neatly back in front of her. "That would've been a good thing. Occasional across the Pond booty call."

Across the Pond? Fuck, she has been spending a lot of time with Declan. She shakes her head, and moves along.

"Thing is, there's no Pond. The rest of our people are from almost two years ago. And when he's coming from, I just McGyvered an ICBM with him to save our collective asses from a very Big Bad." Shit. She probably shouldn't have mentioned the ICBM. "No reason not to fuck, lots of reasons to do it, but no Pond and he's the relationship type. I'm not. Never have been. But he..."

Kate shrugs. "Makes me want things."

"Complicated," Aidan agreed, nodding as he switched to his beer. For someone like Kate, he could see how that would be very complicated. Most people went through life looking for someone to spend it with. Someone like Kate, she did the opposite, so when she found someone that was even remotely similar to a significant other, if she went along with it then it was life changing.

That wasn't even taking into account the ICBM and other weird things that she was apparently involved in. It was no surprise that she wasn't settling well into the normalcy of the island.

"Has he been pressuring for a relationship?"

Edited 2011-10-16 05:58 (UTC)

When Aidan puts it that way, she bridles. "He's not pressuring me," Kate snaps, defensive and protective of Declan. No surprise, it's the exact same reaction she had to Magnus, Sam and Declan getting in her grill about Aidan.

Except... "I guess he kind of is. But it's not..." Hand rubbing her temples, Kate sighs, and looks past Aidan, past the open sides of the bar out into the night. It doesn't feel like pressure, because it's denial instead. It doesn't feel like pressure because she wants it too.

"It's dumb, is what it is. He gave me an ultimatum. No more sex until I can promise him exclusivity. Thing is, I want to promise it. I just can't. I don't make promises I'm not sure I can keep."

If anything let Aidan know that Kate had genuine feelings for this guy, whoever he was, it was how she snapped at him when Aidan suggested he might be pressuring her. Whoever it was, Aidan was willing to bet this guy was a consummate gentleman.

"Just to pose a question," Aidan said, shifting in his seat to face her more completely. "Do you really think you can't be exclusive, or it is more that you're concerned about what having a real relationship will mean?"

Kate screwed up her face and shook her head at him. "Who replaced my hotass booty call with Dr. Phil? What does that even mean?"

She downed half her beer, still shaking her head. Will in a SEAL's body. What a waste. "You wound my soul, Aidan. Seriously. 'What a real relationship will mean?' First of all, how would I know? I've never had one. Second, yeah, I'm worried I can't be exclusive. I'm worried I'll have a night like the one I met you and be too drunk and stupid to go home instead of staying out. I'm worried about hurting the last person on this island I want to hurt and losing the only good thing about being here."

...shut up, Freelander. Shut up and drink.

"Observation and inquisition are the side effects of longevity," he said with a bit of a shrug. He wasn't an armchair psychiatrist, he didn't pretend to have all the answers, but he did have a lot of experience at observing people.

"And all I was asking, was if you genuinely think being exclusive will be a problem for you, or if it's just a semi-valid concern you're holding on to because it's easier to claim than being worried about all the unknowns involved with a real relationship. I'm not saying either is true, just curious if maybe it is."

Kate's not sure which part of 'I don't know' and 'yes' he's not getting. She's also not sure what the 'unknowns' in a real relationship are.

It's not that different from being part of a team. That's hard. Some days she wants to punch Will or Hank in the face a lot more than work with them. Sometimes they have fights that last days, even weeks. In the end, either the team matters enough to work it out or it doesn't. If it does, you do what you have to. If it doesn't, you walk. She hasn't walked yet and as long they have her back, she'll have theirs. She's pretty sure Declan thinks that way too.

Kate shrugs at Aidan, pinch-faced. "I just owe him more than to make him a guinea pig in the grand fucking experiment of what happens when Kate can't run."

"Do you know if he feels like it would be worth it to take that risk?"

That was one thing that Aidan understood well, that eventually you had to give people the benefit of the doubt that they saw you as worth it even when you knew you weren't. This guy obviously saw something in Kate that she didn't necessarily see in herself. Aidan could admit there were obvious reasons that someone would want to be with Kate, but he wouldn't be surprised if spending a little more time with Kate when they both kept their clothes on would reveal other reasons as well.

"He doesn't even think it's a risk."

Kate drops both elbows on the counter and hangs her head between them. She locks her hands behind her neck and doesn't scream, but she's seriously thinking about it. When she looks up again, all traces of fight or flight are gone from her eyes.

"He's not worried. He says we can do this. He says I can do it. Probably, he's right. I get what I want. It's who I am." But the more it matters, the more damage she's willing to do to get it. Her and Declan...there are small countries she might decimate with that ICBM and that might not be a good thing.

"Complicated," he said again polishing off his beer. There was more he could have said, other questions he wanted to ask, but she had said that her telling him wasn't necessarily an invitation to offer advice.

From what he could tell, this guy seemed to see Kate for as valuable and worthwhile as she was. Aidan wasn't sure if Kate was convinced she was that valuable and worthwhile and deserved this sort of relationship. It might be that she just wasn't sure if he wanted it, but he suspected there might be more to it than that.

"Shouldn't be. Millions of idiots manage it." Kate snorts and shrugs off the conversation. She's never been one for 'talking it out' and she's not looking to start now.

"Whatever. I have a shrink if I need one." Now that they're talking again, she does. "You drinking or just taking in the scenery?"

"Just enjoying a night to myself," Aidan said. It was amazing how quickly that had been a luxury. Martha hadn't asked himself to be so involved, to check in on her and Alfie nearly every night and to spend so much time with them, but Aidan liked it. It was almost addicted, that sense of normalcy, let alone factoring in how he felt about the two of them.

"But part of that is admiring the scenery I suppose," he said, giving her a bit of a smile.

"Come on, then. I'll buy you a drink." She grins, sharp. "Since I can't blow you, it's the least I can do."

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[Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

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