girlsolo | [Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

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[Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

Kate's back to drinking tequila again. That's never a good sign. Tonight it's a sign she's bouncing between sexy check-in notes with Declan that make this island seem all right and people like Coraline screaming and crying over how much it fucking sucks.

The smart thing to do would be find Will or Magnus, talk some of this out. Even finding someone to spar with, that would work. Thing is, Kate's not that kind of smart. When it comes to helping Coraline? Sure. Yeah. She's been listening to Will do his shrink thing for years now. But when it comes to herself?

Fuck that noise. She'd still rather fuck and forget.

Kate leans her back against a post to watch the room, drinks another shot (hot wheels only, no training), and flirts at whatever makes eye contact. Whether she's Go or just Show, she hasn't decided yet. Mostly, she's trying not to look for anyone in particular. She's trying not to wish he'd come in and just...

Take her home.

[OOC: Find her at the Hub or the Winchester (let me know) any evening between now and the 20th. Available for all of your Freelander needs. If you need a specific date, email me, otherwise I'll work them out. For the record, Kate's very bi but a lot less available than she thinks she is.]

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"Considering he told me it was him, I'm going with Nikola. I never even suspected Will."

Helen arched a brow. "Why? Should I have suspected Will? Do you have inside information?"

Kate clicks her tongue and shakes her head, playful. "Now, now, doc. I would never rat Will out if he was trying to get you to kick back and relax." Her eyes are wicked, but there's nothing in it but fun. "Boyfriend knows best after all."

Boyfriend. Kate's expression flickers, wavering. She'd really like to talk to Magnus about Declan, but she's not sure she should. She's his friend too.

"I will never get used to referring to Will as my boyfriend," Helen admitted quietly. "I guess because I feel like I'm too old to have a boyfriend or be considered someone's girlfriend. Old-fashioned of me, isn't it?"

"Pfft. You guys are so cute it's disgusting." She taps the back of Magnus's hand, soft tease in her eyes and her tone. "He's definitely your boyfriend. I bet he even carries your books for you."

"I don't carry books but I agree, he probably would," Helen said, grinning wide enough to show her dimple. "I'm positively stupid over him, I can admit that easily enough."

"Was it always easy?" The words just tumble out, and then Kate's kicking her damned self and very interested in her beer.

"What? Hardly. Shortly after we came to the island, I got a bit...tipsy, shall we say, and I kissed Will. He didn't kiss me back and things got very awkward for a stretch. It didn't help matters much when he walked in on me having sex with another doctor in the clinic."

It was hard to admit those things, especially considering Helen had made an ass of herself, but she couldn't be anything but honest with Kate.

"We didn't speak and then he made a truce on my birthday. Things were better until I found a letter he wrote in the case of his death and it said, he said he loved me, so I confronted him but he didn't want a relationship."

Helen took a deep breath and sipped at her drink.

"I tried to push it and he turned down sex with me...it was a very big mess before we finally worked it out. It...it affected a lot of things because I felt like he didn't want me and I was afraid to ask him for things."

Kate feels like a cartoon version of herself, eyes so wide they're going to pop out of her head. "Sorry, I--"

She shakes her head. If it was Will or Henry she'd be giving them the face of way TMI right now. But it's Magnus and Kate's no shrink but she kind of thinks Magnus maybe needed to tell someone that. Or needed someone else she could tell.

It's weird, being there for her and for Will. But it's probably the daytime talk therapy "being there" that's weird more than anything.

"That's pretty rough. But take it from me. If there's anything I know about guys, it's when they want someone. Will wants you. Will's wanted you since I met him." She holds up her hand. "It's nothing he said. He's just... the walking definition of off limits and he pretty much always has been."

"Unless one's name is Helen Magnus, I presume?" Helen asked, smirk playing at her lips. Will was hers and, for all intents and purposes, had been hers a lot longer than they'd actually been a couple.

"Obviously."

Kate smiles and pulls her hands back to drink her beer. When she puts it down again, she rotates the glass in the ring of condensation on the table. It's not Will she's thinking about. Or Magnus.

"I've never had a boyfriend," she says finally. Out of everyone she might talk to, she kind of thinks Magnus might get this best. It's not really talking about Declan. It's talking about her.

"It's sort of nice, in a way. I haven't really had one since James," Helen pointed out. "Of course, I can't imagine you'll be single for long, what with Declan."

Neither of them had said anything, true, but Helen thought there might be something there that hadn't been admitted to out in the open.

"How do you--" Kate shakes her head, smiling awkwardly. "Never mind. You're you. Knowing everything is what you do."

She lifts a hand to rub at her eyes, staring past Magnus out at the bar. "I don't know what to do about him."

"What feels natural is the easiest answer," Helen offered. "But the truth may be more complex than that. It often is. How do you feel about him, Kate?"

"It's complicated. We..." Kate shoves her hands through her hair and twists it back behind her neck. Fidgeting. Not a her thing. Not unless she's sitting in a quiet room where they're supposed to be working.

"We have a thing. It's not actually a thing. Yet. But it is, and..." She makes a face, brows pinching and mouth twisting with her awkwardness. "He knows all the stuff you and Will don't, so sometimes when it's bad he can help." Take a breath, Freelander. It's kind of a relief to tell her. Different than telling anyone else. Magnus has always been the one who knows what she's capable of and pushed her to her best. "It was just sex at first, doc. But now there's no sex unless it's just him. And I'm worried about that because I always fuck things up with people pretty spectacularly before I get it right. I really don't want to hurt him."

"Declan's a good man, Kate," Helen said after a long moment, weighing what she'd said with what she knew about the two of them. "If he's asked for exclusivity, he has faith you can provide it. For what it's worth, I agree with being cautious...it wouldn't be good to hurt a friend. That said, I think if you really want him, you can make it work."

You can make it work. Magnus means to encourage her, she thinks. But it makes her feel kind of defiant. Like she used to when the team didn't trust her yet.

What Kate says, mild and still worried sounding, head tipped down, is, "I guess I have to figure out what I want then," but what she means is we already work, you'll see.

"And then when you do know, go out and get it," Helen said, beaming a little at her. "Because you're the sort of woman who always gets what you want. I've always seen that in you."

That's because it's true. What Kate Freelander wants for herself, she gets. She shrugs her way into a small smile. "Yeah, but this time I can't mow down everything in my way to get it."

It's happening more and more often. Not just not wanting to hurt people but actively wanting to protect them. People who aren't the team. It's strange and uncomfortable. As strange and uncomfortable as how she feels about Declan.

"How did you know, with Will?" she asks, same as she did Steve. It's on her mind a lot. "It can't have been easy. Lots of reasons why you'd be worried about it. What made you decide it was worth all the risks?"

"Because when I'm in a room with Will, it's like nobody else exists," Helen said simply. It was easy, that way, and that was how she'd known.

"Being loved by Will is like having the sun turned on you full force. I needed it, clearly, and once I knew, I had to have it."

Steve knew because Danny stood up to him. Magnus because Will loves like the sun. Maybe she should ask Declan how he knows it's her.

Kate thumbs the side of her beer glass. "I've never felt like this before. I'm not sure I like it."

"Love is a scary thing. It certainly was when I was young and it was John and I," Helen said, reaching out and touching Kate's hand.

"If he's someone you love, you'll know. It feels...it feels different from anything else, Kate. I can assure you of that."

"Yeah, well." Kate makes a face and rolls her eyes at herself. "If you still needed any proof that I've changed, I think you just got it. I sound like a caller on Friday night loveline."

She drains her beer in one swallow and orders another one. "Quick, let's talk about something else before I'm banned from wearing leather."

"Mm, one of these days I'll get you into a sundress and Will is going to think you hit your head and have amnesia," Helen teased. She preferred sundresses, on the island, but that was mostly because there was no real need to suit up and hunt Abnormals.

"I remember Will once pointing out that I needed to spend some quality time flopped on a beach reading books and drinking mojitos. I really haven't done much of that since I've been here in spite of having plenty of time."

She says sundress, Kate thinks Little Black Dress, and it's instantly a good thing she doesn't show a blush. Gods. She just bets they're all going to think she hit her head and has amnesia.

Covering, she cocks her head and sucks in her cheeks. "No sundress. But I'll wear a sarong if you wear a bikini. Beach day, you bring the books and I'll bring the mojitos?"

"I think you may have a deal," Helen said, grinning wickedly. "I have a black bikini, actually. I lost the top to it the first time I met Sam, actually, and I do believe I may have scarred him for life."

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