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[For Finnick] I don't aim to blow your cover
William tugs at Kate's hand when they pass by the kitchen on the way from the Children's Office to home. "Hungry," he says in that quiet way he has, and Kate nods. "Okay, buddy." He's not scrawny like she imagines her and Will's son probably is at the end of the world being overrun by zombies, but she never says no when he wants to eat. "What do you want?"
The kid shrugs and gives her that soft-eyed look that pretty much means whatever since none of the stuff he usually likes to eat is here anymore.
"It's kinda rough, huh, the island changing all the time? Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water..." She quirks a little smile, and he smiles back even though he has no idea what she means. He just lifts his arms up and Kate hikes him up and sits him on her hip. "We'll find something." He rests his head on her shoulder and she kisses the top of his head. "Promise."
"Declan?" he asks suddenly. Perceptive little kid.
"Gone," she tells him.
"Like mama." He makes a sad face and says, "Sorry, Katie."
And if Kate holds him a little tighter when he calls her 'Katie', hugs him a little harder, is a little more affectionate than usual, William doesn't seem to mind.
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Title ad cut lyrics from Dessa's Alibi.
The kid shrugs and gives her that soft-eyed look that pretty much means whatever since none of the stuff he usually likes to eat is here anymore.
"It's kinda rough, huh, the island changing all the time? Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water..." She quirks a little smile, and he smiles back even though he has no idea what she means. He just lifts his arms up and Kate hikes him up and sits him on her hip. "We'll find something." He rests his head on her shoulder and she kisses the top of his head. "Promise."
"Declan?" he asks suddenly. Perceptive little kid.
"Gone," she tells him.
"Like mama." He makes a sad face and says, "Sorry, Katie."
And if Kate holds him a little tighter when he calls her 'Katie', hugs him a little harder, is a little more affectionate than usual, William doesn't seem to mind.
*
Title ad cut lyrics from Dessa's Alibi.
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Kate grins and gives the kid a thumbs up and as Finnick isn't looking, William thumbs ups back at her. He probably doesn't know why he's doing it, but it's cute anyway.
"It's a lot. Especially since it's not anything I've ever wanted. But it's okay. It just... you'll see. Having a kid around changes how you see yourself."
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"It's already changing how I see myself," Finnick says as he walks back to Kate, again leaning against the edge of the counter. "It's... kind of scaring the hell out of me, to be honest. This isn't- Back home, this wasn't an option. I never even considered it." Not really, at least. Not in anything beyond ridiculous pipe dreams.
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"Listen." She gestures at him with a spatula while she's making another grilled cheese. "You protect people. You do it with Annie. You did it with Effy. You try, dumbass that you are--" There's a flash of a grin for that. "To do it with me. That's what parents are supposed to do." Not what they always do. Sometimes they disappear, but she keeps that off her face for now. "Being scared, that's what keeps you alive. It's what's keeps you sharp. If you weren't scared, then I'd worry."
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"There's a difference between trying to keep someone safe and... and raising them. Remembering to keep them fed and rested and entertained and clean and happy. I don't- I have absolutely no experience in this at all."
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Like that she can help raise kids, and that she doesn't hate it.
"Hey," she says and picks up his gaze, locking in on it. "You're not going to be doing that all alone, all right? Annie's going to be the best mom in the universe probably, because she loves you like stupid and it's your baby. There's the Children's Office and Savannah's great with the kids. Everyone will pitch in. Even me. But it's not as different as you think. You're still protecting them. Just from different stuff."
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"You're right," he says after a stilted pause, lips twitching into a faintly relieved smile. "You are. It's just... been a lot to take in, I guess."
He doesn't mention that he's afraid of what this 'different stuff' might be here. The things about the island he can't predict or control. In a weird way, it's not too different from protecting him or her from the Capitol; it makes him feel equally helpless.
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After she slaps her own together, she sets the flippy thing down to put her hand on his arm. "I suck at the talking thing. Not even gonna pretend I don't. But I don't suck as much at listening and I rock at secrets. If you get freaked out, you know where to find me." The I'll be there she hopes goes without saying, because it sounds way too fucking much like Will for her to even deal with it coming out of her own mouth.
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Whatever. She's totally ignoring the sting in her eyes and the ache in her chest when she hugs him back. She tells herself the lie she wants to let go and believes it enough to do it, then quirk a smartass grin back up at him. "You sure? I make a mean boar bacon, lettuce and tomato."
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It's obvious (to him at least) that everything that's happened with her in the past month or so is weighing on her heavier than she wants to let on. But she's strong, as strong as any tribute he ever had to mentor, whether they came back to him or not. She'll pull through.