[For Finnick] I don't aim to blow your cover

[girlsolo]

William tugs at Kate's hand when they pass by the kitchen on the way from the Children's Office to home. "Hungry," he says in that quiet way he has, and Kate nods. "Okay, buddy." He's not scrawny like she imagines her and Will's son probably is at the end of the world being overrun by zombies, but she never says no when he wants to eat. "What do you want?"

The kid shrugs and gives her that soft-eyed look that pretty much means whatever since none of the stuff he usually likes to eat is here anymore.

"It's kinda rough, huh, the island changing all the time? Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water..." She quirks a little smile, and he smiles back even though he has no idea what she means. He just lifts his arms up and Kate hikes him up and sits him on her hip. "We'll find something." He rests his head on her shoulder and she kisses the top of his head. "Promise."

"Declan?" he asks suddenly. Perceptive little kid.

"Gone," she tells him.

"Like mama." He makes a sad face and says, "Sorry, Katie."

And if Kate holds him a little tighter when he calls her 'Katie', hugs him a little harder, is a little more affectionate than usual, William doesn't seem to mind.

*
Title ad cut lyrics from Dessa's Alibi.

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[victorofthe65th]

With Annie busy talking to Dr. Chase, Finnick decides to spend the hour collecting a few more books. He's several already and, for the most part, the advice contained within rarely varies. Be patient. Be supportive. Don't underestimate her pain. Don't presume to know what she's feeling. As logical as it all seems, Finnick still can't shake the idea that he's still flying blind, still missing valuable information.

He imagines the key has to be in a book somewhere.

After finding three that may prove worthwhile, he finds he still has a good twenty minutes to kill and wanders into the kitchen for a snack. He catches voices before he opens the door, one familiar and one, much younger, decidedly.

He stops right inside the door, looking between Kate and the little boy in her lap. "Hey, who's this?"

[girlsolo]

"Hey, you." That broken softness disappears from Kate pretty quick when she hears Finnick's voice. Pretty quick, but she's not gonna fool herself into thinking it was quick enough. She's not sure she cares.

William tips his head up to look at Kate and she nods. It's okay. "This is Finnick, buddy. He's a friend. He's okay to talk to." William comes first, even though Finnick asked, and he lifts up his hand and says, "Hi," to Finnick in his quiet way.

Kate fills in for him, "This is William. He was born here. His Aunt Sam and Uncle Daniel are friends of mine. I watch him sometimes."

"Lots," William corrects her.

"Yeah. Okay." She grins and shakes her head. "Lots."

[victorofthe65th]

"Hi," Finnick replies, lifting his own hand in a wave as he looks down at the little boy awkwardly.

It's of course not the first time Finnick's seen a small child. It isn't even the first time he's seen one here, but it feels different now. In only a few months he's going to have one of his own, one that hopefully has Annie's eyes and strength.

"Well, he seems like pretty good company," Finnick says with a soft smile as he grabs a glass from the cupboard. "But can he say the same for you?"

[girlsolo]

"Duh," Kate says and winks at William. William giggles, leans up and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Kate decides that's answer enough and scoots him off her lap.

"Here." She gives him the bag of books they picked up at the shelves. "You read something and I'll make some grilled cheese. That work?"

William nods kind of solemnly and starts sorting through the books. He always likes to look at them all first before he decides. It's cute, and so once he's settled, she runs her fingers through William's hair and passes him on the way deeper into the kitchen.

"So, what's up? How's Annie?" He's grinning still, Finnick is. It's cute.

[victorofthe65th]

"Ooh, grilled cheese!" Finnick says, flashing a bright, hopeful smile as he spins around to watch Kate hand over a bag of books to William. He still has his glass in hand, but for now he's more intent on food. Specifically, food he doesn't have to make himself. And a grilled cheese sandwich sounds delicious.

"And Annie's..." he trails off a little, imagining all the ways Annie might answer that question - tired, hungry, nauseous, pregnant - before his lips quirk in another, softer grin. "She's okay. Good. We're both good."

[girlsolo]

Kate rolls her eyes at Finnick and shoves him lightly in the shoulder. "First of all, you're nowhere near as cute as William." Which is kind of a lie. Finnick's bitching hot, but completely attached and she's...whatever she is. "Second of all, I'm really not a good cook. He's just easy to please."

But she takes out enough bread and cheese and butter for a couple of sandwiches. It's something to do. "And Annie's...got you wrapped around her little finger," she teases, eyes as bright as they have been (during the day) since Declan left.

[victorofthe65th]

Kate's shove helps him forget the weird tightening in his stomach and he stumbles faintly to the side as he shakes his head. "You're full of lies; I am dashing," he says before grinning over at William. "Though he is certainly more youthful and baby-faced, I'll give him that."

His smile only widens when he notices Kate pulling out enough bread for more than just one sandwich. "Looks like she's not the only one," he says with just a little bit of arrogance. "It's because of my smile, isn't it? So few can resist. And where is your Declan anyway? Please tell me he's not lurking behind a corner somewhere waiting to defend your honor." It's a joke, of course. Finnick hasn't been fortunate enough to meet Kate's Declan, but he knows her well enough now that he's positive she can take care of herself when necessary. And they both know Finnick doesn't flirt with any real promise.

[girlsolo]

"It's because pouting is not a good look on you," Kate says, but there's an edged tightness to it and she's not looking at him anymore. Her fingers curl so tight into the bread that it starts to tear and she has to force them to release.

Declan's been gone for almost two weeks. She got back on the horse. It should be over and done. It's just...not. But she can say it now, at least, without choking up. "Declan's gone. And even if he weren't, he wouldn't be stupid enough to defend my honor." If she had any to defend, she'd be more than capable of defending it herself.

Out at the tables, William hears the tone in Kate's voice and looks up. She gives him a tight little smile. It's enough and he goes back to reading, but not until he makes a fingers heart for her.

[victorofthe65th]

Finnick is about to defend himself and his perfectly acceptable pout, but catches himself just in time, his normally easy smile falling in an instant.

"Oh. Shit. Kate, I'm so sorry."

He remembers only belatedly that William's still there and cringes at his cursing. That's yet another thing he's going to have to get used to in only a few months. It's all piling up pretty fast.

[girlsolo]

Kate makes the fingers heart back at William. It's their thing and it makes her feel better. Somehow. He could disappear tomorrow too, she realizes, but somehow she knows he won't. Kids get left behind. They don't leave.

The world's like that. At least until they turn sixteen and run away to Montreal, start hustling and smuggling Abnormals and join the Cabal.

Kate sighs and shrugs at Finnick. "Don't be. He was miserable here and I wasn't enough to make up for that." It sounds...pathetic and it's not really what she means. Because it's Finnick, she just lets it lie. He knows it's not like she's got a self-esteem problem.

[victorofthe65th]

In the short time Finnick's been here, he's seen more than a few disappearances. Not exactly directly, but he's witnessed the aftermath through Jason and Effy and Kate. If nothing else, it's apparent that whether someone leaves or not isn't a matter of choice. For anyone.

"He could come back, right?" he says, knowing even as he says it that it's little consolation. "I've heard sometimes they do."

[girlsolo]

"Yeah." It's quiet, almost subvocal. Kate shrugs her way through a trip into the 'larder' or whatever the hell it's called to get some butter and cheese for the sandwiches.

When she comes back out, she finds the voice to say, "I hope he doesn't. For his sake. He'll never be happy here. It's not...there's just nothing for him here. He and I aren't...we're not like you and Annie. I wouldn't want him to come back here for me. No matter how much I miss him."

It's the lie she's telling herself right now and she's doing a pretty good job believing it. Especially because, "He wouldn't remember, anyway. Him and me."

[victorofthe65th]

"He had you here," Finnick says. "I'm sure that meant something to him."

It feels a little presumptuous - it's not like Finnick ever met Declan, after all - but he's pulling from his own, admittedly limited experiences. Kate and Declan's relationship may not have been anything like his and Annie's, but he can't imagine anyone would think lightly of loving Kate.

[girlsolo]

Kate's torn for a second, the odd impulses to hug Finnick and slug him, tugging her different directions. She breathes and tries it the Will way, using her words.

There's a soft, "Thanks," gazes meeting. Finnick gets enough about her to know that it really does matter that he thinks loving her is something worth staying here for. And then a more settled, "He can have me at home if he gets the stones to make the move or I get bored of waiting. We'd work better there."

It's true. Not even a Kate truth. Just certainty. She and Declan work when they're not constantly in each other's space with nothing to do or talk about that isn't them. So maybe he'll find her at home and they'll be great. Or maybe he'll find his Abby and she'll go on to Garris.

[victorofthe65th]

It seems strange to Finnick, this idea of 'home'. Back in Panem, it was District 4, no question. Even if it felt like he spent more time in the Capitol, the district was home. But, though he's only been here for three months, Finnick has already started to consider the island home. He knows it must be because of Annie, because she's here. His home will be wherever she is.

He wonders if Kate feels like a part of herself has gone home with Declan.

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm still sorry," Finnick tells her, knowing full well there isn't a single thing he (or anyone else) can do to really make her feel better. "I'm guessing William here is keeping you plenty occupied though."

[girlsolo]

"Thanks," she says again and tips him a little nod. It sucks, Declan being gone, one more piece of home being ripped away from her. One more root she'd never meant to put down getting torn out of the ground.

She shakes off the gloom and smiles at William who'd looked up when he heard his name.

"Sam's like seven or eight months pregnant and Daniel's pretty busy looking after her, so yeah I spent a lot of time with him. He's a great kid."

[victorofthe65th]

He already knew Annie wasn't the only pregnant woman on the island, but it's still oddly comforting to be reminded. They're not the only ones going through this; babies have been born here before and are still doing fine, seem as happy and healthy as any back in the district.

And safe in a way they never could be there.

He hasn't really shared the news with anyone since finding out, but now seems as good a time as any, his lips twitching into a nervous smile as he says, "So you're designated babysitter, is that it? Good to know. Might prove useful."

[girlsolo]

"Nah. He goes to the Children's Office a lot with the other kids. It's just...he's lost a lot of people, so he likes to stay close to the ones that matter to him."

How weird is it that somehow she is important to this kid? She gets why he's important to her. (Magnus. Her and Will's Magnus.) But he needs her, too.

Her gaze narrows as what Finnick says catches up to her. "Might prove useful?" That would explain the grinning. "You and Annie doing some family planning?"

[victorofthe65th]

"Uhm," Finnick replies, feeling suddenly much more awkward about the whole thing. "I don't think planning is really the right word. It just kind of. Happened."

And that makes it sound like it's a mistake which, while possibly not entirely untrue, carries certain connotations. As terrified as this whole thing makes him, he does want this baby, he wants this family. He's just... not sure he has any idea what the hell he's doing.

[girlsolo]

"Happened here or happened before and she was pregnant when she got here?" For once, she doesn't avoid the direct questions. It's hard enough to control the surge of emotion over hearing about another kid going to be born into this crazy-ass island world where people disappear without warning.

She's worried. Worried about Finnick. Worried about Annie. Worried about the kid that's probably smaller than her pinky right now. But she keeps it off her face.

"Is this a congratulations thing or a let's go get a few drinks while I reassure you it's going to be okay thing?" There's the curl of a smile, not fake, not a mask, because no matter what she thinks or feels, looking out for Finnick kinda matters.

[victorofthe65th]

Oddly, Finnick hadn't really considered that. Given the timeline Dr. Grey suggested, it's possible Annie could have arrived already pregnant, but it's just as likely they could've conceived here. He really doesn't know.

And, in the end, it really doesn't matter much.

"Uhm, I don't- I don't know," he answers, perfectly honest. "To both questions. I mean, I'm happy. And we both definitely want the baby,we're- we're going to get married soon. But it's just... it's a lot. And I don't really know what I'm doing."

[girlsolo]

That does make her smile. "Congratulations, definitely, on the wedding." She's not really your happily ever after girl. She made a grab for a brass ring and fell on her face when it got ripped from her hand. Or maybe she's just not cut out for it. Or maybe she is but he wasn't the right one, either way, but she's just not feeling it for herself right now. Doesn't mean she can't be happy for people who belong together as much as Finnick and Annie.

She slathers lard on the bread while she's watching him and then drops it into her fry pan. "And I don't think anyone really knows what they're doing. I mean, before I got here, the only kid I was ever around was my little brother." So what if she'd practically raised him through Mom's post-partum? It's not like she's an expert. "And I'm still not all aboard the baby-train, but...I found out something that made it hard to stop thinking about. So I started learning."

[victorofthe65th]

Her congratulations makes him relax a little and he lets out a soft breath as the muscles in his shoulders ease and he cracks another smile. As nervous as he is about the baby, he's absolutely sure about marrying Annie. That, he thinks, is at least something to hold onto tightly.

His head cocks a little as she continues talking, brow furrowing. "What did you find out?"

[girlsolo]

"About raising kids or that made me want to know?" Kate's mostly stalling for time, pulling her thoughts together, glancing at William to make sure he's okay, flipping the bread...steeling herself. She's pretty sure he wants to know what she found out and talking about Will and baby Magnus hasn't gotten any easier now that Declan's gone.

It hasn't gotten any easier knowing that when the island comes back to itself she's going to stalk the bookshelf for the reel that shows her what Magnus saw so she can know. So she can see for herself a Will who loved her enough to have a child with her. Because now, she believes it less than ever.

[victorofthe65th]

"Well- both, I guess," Finnick says, watching her carefully. She's intent on her task which, on one hand, Finnick is grateful for. He doesn't want her to burn herself or the food, after all. But he senses a strange sort of desperation in it, too. Like maybe, for once, he's getting a little too close.

He rests a hand on her shoulder and squeezes. "You don't have to tell me."

[girlsolo]

Kate's gaze flicks to Finnick's hand, a startled blink that does nothing to hide the quick move to control the violent self-protective impulse. Her fingers tighten on the spatula and she breathes out deliberately.

It's not Finnick. It's that without Declan around touching her all the time and with the topic what it is, yeah, old habits.

Once she's settled, she glances up to meet his gaze again, shrugging apologetically while she rolls the tension out of her shoulders. "You've heard about alternate universes, right? How sometimes people here are from worlds that are almost like each others' but different enough that they don't really know each other?"

[victorofthe65th]

She tenses under her touch, a quick, sharp movement that manages to catch him by surprise. He lets go immediately, concern and apology in his eyes as he backs off. It's a weird mix. Particularly in regards to Kate.

"Yes," he says, carefully giving her more room as he rests a hip against the counter. He thinks of Katniss and Annie both coming here from the future and, though it doesn't completely match what she's saying, the idea is still the same. "I feel like this whole island is one giant alternate universe." Or a dream. His dream. Even though he can't imagine how he ever came up with any of this.

[girlsolo]

"It kinda is." It's a good way to look at it. One that helps make sense of stuff like the reels or books or comics and stuff, if he ever finds anything like that. For now, because they've been through so much, Kate wants to protect him and Annie from all of that. And now there's a baby to think about it.

She carefully doesn't think about what will happen to the child if one or both of them leaves. Even more carefully hides from herself the promise that if anything happens to Finnick and Annie but their baby is here, she'll take care of it like her own. She tells herself the lie that she's all right with her friends having kids here as long as they're happy and she's so good, even now, at making herself believe it.

Her lips press together tightly and then she goes back to the grilled cheese so it won't burn, lifts her gaze to William, to make sure he's still reading happily. He is, but she can tell he's watching her, so she forces herself even looser and says, "There are lots of them. My boss, Helen, visited one before she came here. She told me about it. In it, me and Will had a son, Magnus." She can't remember if she's ever mentioned Will before, but it's not that important right now. "I died, fighting to save Will and Magnus. Will sent him away and then he died fighting too. Helen doesn't know what happened to our son. And..." Kate shrugs and flips one sandwich onto a plate. "He's not mine. Maybe he was never real at all. But for a long time I couldn't stop thinking about him."

[victorofthe65th]

"About the son you never met," Finnick says, trying to make sure he understands. He doesn't know who Will is, but that hardly matters. He remembers Annie telling him about reuniting with him in District 13 and that had been strange enough, like hearing a story about a different person entirely, one alike in every way but memory. To learn she had a child, one she died for and now can't even remember... that's something else entirely.

Frowning a little, he watches her carefully, holding his hand out for the plate so he can take it to the little boy sitting so patiently at the table. "Does it even matter if he was real or not?"

[girlsolo]

There's a struggle in her, a quiet war fought behind steady eyes, whether to give up the plate or take it to William herself. Take it to William, for the smile and the hug, and get the wordless it's okay, Katie that the kid seems to be about the only person who she believes it from. She gives it to Finnick, because she should be telling William that and not the other way around.

"No," she tells Finnick when she puts the plate in his hand. "It doesn't. It wasn't me. It wasn't the Will I know. I never met Magnus. But it didn't matter. When I found out...it changed everything I thought I knew about me." And now she prayed every damned day her son would show up here, safe, on this island, where even if they weren't together, he'd have both his parents to love and look after him.

[victorofthe65th]

Taking the plate, he watches her for only a second more before walking the few steps to give it to Will.

"That's a lot to take in," he says to Kate even as he rests a companionable hand on Will's back. Then to him, "Should probably let that cool for a second or two, kiddo. Don't want to burn yourself."

He wonders if he should cut it into small bites or even just in half. Or if Will is too old for that. Not for the first time, Finnick wonders if he really is cut out for being father. He knows next to nothing about children, only how to kill them.

[girlsolo]

"Thank you." William is one of the most polite kids Kate's ever known, and Kate figures that has to be Sam's military influence. He nods at Finnick and sets the plate aside for the sandwich to cool while he finishes 'reading' his book.

Kate grins and gives the kid a thumbs up and as Finnick isn't looking, William thumbs ups back at her. He probably doesn't know why he's doing it, but it's cute anyway.

"It's a lot. Especially since it's not anything I've ever wanted. But it's okay. It just... you'll see. Having a kid around changes how you see yourself."

[victorofthe65th]

He can't help but grin when the kid simply sets the plate aside and continues with his book, quiet and polite in a way Finnick is positive he wasn't at that age. At least if all the stories Kai ever told him are to be believed.

"It's already changing how I see myself," Finnick says as he walks back to Kate, again leaning against the edge of the counter. "It's... kind of scaring the hell out of me, to be honest. This isn't- Back home, this wasn't an option. I never even considered it." Not really, at least. Not in anything beyond ridiculous pipe dreams.

[girlsolo]

"You'll be great." Kate lies, yeah, but not to blow smoke up peoples' asses. Definitely not up the asses of people she cares about, and she's not lying now. The way he grins at William, the careful way he warned him about the sandwich, it's all instinct.

"Listen." She gestures at him with a spatula while she's making another grilled cheese. "You protect people. You do it with Annie. You did it with Effy. You try, dumbass that you are--" There's a flash of a grin for that. "To do it with me. That's what parents are supposed to do." Not what they always do. Sometimes they disappear, but she keeps that off her face for now. "Being scared, that's what keeps you alive. It's what's keeps you sharp. If you weren't scared, then I'd worry."

[victorofthe65th]

Eyebrows raising, Finnick rocks back a little when she waves the spatula at him and can't but feel like he's being scolded. Weirdly, though, it does make him feel a little better. Even if he's still not sure he agrees, especially in regards to Effy. All he's done is fail her so far.

"There's a difference between trying to keep someone safe and... and raising them. Remembering to keep them fed and rested and entertained and clean and happy. I don't- I have absolutely no experience in this at all."

[girlsolo]

Kate squashes the second sandwich down in the fry pan to make it cook faster. It smells good and she's hungry. Biggie would be laughing his head off at her cooking anything, but she's learned a lot of new things since she got here.

Like that she can help raise kids, and that she doesn't hate it.

"Hey," she says and picks up his gaze, locking in on it. "You're not going to be doing that all alone, all right? Annie's going to be the best mom in the universe probably, because she loves you like stupid and it's your baby. There's the Children's Office and Savannah's great with the kids. Everyone will pitch in. Even me. But it's not as different as you think. You're still protecting them. Just from different stuff."

[victorofthe65th]

For a moment, it's Kate's tone more than anything that catches his attention and forces him to focus. But then... she's right. Annie will make a great mother, he has no doubt about at all. And there is some kind of support system here, however strange it might feel. If he messes up, the kid should still, hopefully, have someone to fall back on.

"You're right," he says after a stilted pause, lips twitching into a faintly relieved smile. "You are. It's just... been a lot to take in, I guess."

He doesn't mention that he's afraid of what this 'different stuff' might be here. The things about the island he can't predict or control. In a weird way, it's not too different from protecting him or her from the Capitol; it makes him feel equally helpless.

[girlsolo]

That, Kate can totally get. So when she flips the next sandwich onto a plate, she gives it to him instead of taking it for herself. It's kind of a big sister thing, something she used to do for Thad, giving him the first bowl of cereal or whatever.

After she slaps her own together, she sets the flippy thing down to put her hand on his arm. "I suck at the talking thing. Not even gonna pretend I don't. But I don't suck as much at listening and I rock at secrets. If you get freaked out, you know where to find me." The I'll be there she hopes goes without saying, because it sounds way too fucking much like Will for her to even deal with it coming out of her own mouth.

[victorofthe65th]

'You're not the only one,' Finnick thinks with a slight grin, appreciating her all the more in that moment. Taking the plate, he wraps his other arm around her and pulls her in close to press a kiss to the top of her head. "You know that goes both ways, right? I promise I'm not just using you for your amazing sandwich-making skills."

[girlsolo]

This time, instinct stays quiet. Somehow, between taking a sandwich to William (who is smiling at them hugging; he likes hugs) and admitting he and Annie are pregnant, Finnick slipped inside her walls. Or maybe it's just been a shitty fucking few weeks, she misses Declan (and Will and Magnus) more than she wants to admit, and...

Whatever. She's totally ignoring the sting in her eyes and the ache in her chest when she hugs him back. She tells herself the lie she wants to let go and believes it enough to do it, then quirk a smartass grin back up at him. "You sure? I make a mean boar bacon, lettuce and tomato."

[victorofthe65th]

"Oh, I will never say no to more food," Finnick replies right away, not missing the way her eyes look a little watery, though not commenting on it either. He's fairly certain she wouldn't appreciate it. "I'm just saying it's not the only reason."

It's obvious (to him at least) that everything that's happened with her in the past month or so is weighing on her heavier than she wants to let on. But she's strong, as strong as any tribute he ever had to mentor, whether they came back to him or not. She'll pull through.