[For Neal] After-Party

[girlsolo]

This, Kate thinks as she lifts her hand to knock on Neal's door, is definitely the worst idea she's had in a long time. It's such a bad idea that she can't even love it as much as she should. Kind of bad idea that leads to way worse than walk of shame. Except now she's staring at her hand and it's taking longer than it should to touch down against the wood and she can't really think what 'way worse' might be because it's better than drinking/smoking/sleeping/being alone.

Isn't it?

Her knuckles touch the door but don't rap. Just kinda rest there a minute, maybe two. She's not drunk, not the tipsy kind or the falling down kind either. A little buzzed and a little high and a little too much of both to convince herself that Lilo and Phoebe are the kind of 'not alone' she needs right now. Trip's probably a safer choice or picking up someone new. Sawyer's...not here, she reminds herself. Gone, like Declan and Liv and Imri and Daniel. But, hey, Will and Magnus have a baby boy and she had a civilized conversation with Druitt.

Knock on the door, Freelander, she reminds herself before she forgets again. This time she pulls herself up straighter first. She combs her fingers through her hair and manages not to rip it out by getting it stuck on the studs of her fingerless gloves and hopes Neal doesn't have company and does have a thing for bad girls in black leather.

Her knuckles hit the door finally. Once, twice. It sounds loud in the quiet of New Atlantis. Quieter now without Dr. J up at all hours in the research hut. A third time. If Neal doesn't come out, maybe she'll go sit in the Galactica hut with all of Starbuck's ghosts.

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[girlsolo]

For about three seconds, Kate debates playing hard to get with the wine. But one of her favorite things about Neal is that they tend to skip the bullshit. Lives they've both lived, they know better than to waste time with anyone...who wants to celebrate with you more regularly.

"That your way of saying you want to undress me more often?" Kate blurts out, sliding her still gloved hands under the back of his shirt once he takes the wine.

[notgoingtorun]

"Maybe," he says slyly, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "I'm not hearing any complaints from you, am I?"

Neal presses back against her hand, wanting more contact, feeling far too good about the way her fingers move against his skin. He backs them towards the small dining nook he'd put together in his hut, hoping to find something that would approximate a wine glass. He's no stranger to drinking straight out of the bottle, but he likes to do his best to be a civilized person, most of the time.

[girlsolo]

Watching Neal look around for glasses, she knows instantly what she's getting him for Christmas. And the thought hurts. A lot. Last Christmas... and he could be gone, too. Everyone else keeps disappearing. Neal could be next.

It makes her sharp when she answers him, "Don't usually complain about you getting your hands and mouth all over me, maestro, do I?"

Her tongue's sharp but one of the problems with skipping the bullshit usually is that when she's trying to slide a wall of it between them, Neal's way too smart not to ask questions. Especially when she's talking tough but she hasn't even taken her hands off him to get her gloves off.

[notgoingtorun]

"No, no you don't," he says, still grinning, but calculating things in his mind. There's a puzzle here, and he loves puzzles. The challenge is to put all the pieces together before anyone else does, but to hold off on pressing that last one in until the exact right moment.

He leans in and kisses her quickly, then twists away, reluctantly, to set the wine down and scrounge for glasses, and to put those puzzle pieces together. "But seriously," he says, sounding casual, but poking at her story, not letting things drop. "What's up?" He only glances at her as he sets the glasses out, looks for an opener for the bottle.

[girlsolo]

His mouth brushes hers and Kate has to forcibly restrain herself from twisting her fingers in his shirt and hauling him back to her. It wasn't a 'light me up and watch me burn' kiss, though, and that's exactly why she lets him go. Because kissing hey, babe leads down the long painful path of wanting something they're never going to be.

"Nothing," she tells him, and it's true enough. Even if it's also the kind of lie they're best at. "Just was out at a party with a bunch of kids. Didn't feel like playing cougar, didn't feel like being alone."

Wanted to be with you, might be truer, but it's as dangerous as gratuitous kissing and pre-fuck cuddling.

[notgoingtorun]

"I'm sure those kids could have learned a lot from you," he says, eyebrows arched. He plays it casual, but inside, he's starting to catalog things. He's still working on figuring out what makes Kate tick, and this is just another part of it. "Something about being older and wiser?"

He finds what passes for an opener around these parts and opens the bottle, then deftly fills both of their glasses. It's nothing he's ever heard of before, but he's had to lower his standards on wine significantly.

"To not being alone, then," he says as he hands Kate her glass, lifts his to toast.

[girlsolo]

Not drunk, no, but she's had enough that it's easy to lose track of what Neal's saying watching his mouth and his eyes pinch just that little bit like he does when he's trying to figure her out. Easy to get lost in how smooth he is and forget Lilo's dwindling ohana, dead Xindi and Auphe and all the people she's lost.

"Pretty sure how to know when an alien's gonna draw down on you isn't high on the list of party tricks," she murmurs, eyes widening when she realizes she said it out loud. Then there's the quick, "To being with you," to cover that, sigh, doesn't cover anything at all.

This was a seriously bad idea.