[For Neal] After-Party

[girlsolo]

This, Kate thinks as she lifts her hand to knock on Neal's door, is definitely the worst idea she's had in a long time. It's such a bad idea that she can't even love it as much as she should. Kind of bad idea that leads to way worse than walk of shame. Except now she's staring at her hand and it's taking longer than it should to touch down against the wood and she can't really think what 'way worse' might be because it's better than drinking/smoking/sleeping/being alone.

Isn't it?

Her knuckles touch the door but don't rap. Just kinda rest there a minute, maybe two. She's not drunk, not the tipsy kind or the falling down kind either. A little buzzed and a little high and a little too much of both to convince herself that Lilo and Phoebe are the kind of 'not alone' she needs right now. Trip's probably a safer choice or picking up someone new. Sawyer's...not here, she reminds herself. Gone, like Declan and Liv and Imri and Daniel. But, hey, Will and Magnus have a baby boy and she had a civilized conversation with Druitt.

Knock on the door, Freelander, she reminds herself before she forgets again. This time she pulls herself up straighter first. She combs her fingers through her hair and manages not to rip it out by getting it stuck on the studs of her fingerless gloves and hopes Neal doesn't have company and does have a thing for bad girls in black leather.

Her knuckles hit the door finally. Once, twice. It sounds loud in the quiet of New Atlantis. Quieter now without Dr. J up at all hours in the research hut. A third time. If Neal doesn't come out, maybe she'll go sit in the Galactica hut with all of Starbuck's ghosts.

Comments

[girlsolo]

His mouth brushes hers and Kate has to forcibly restrain herself from twisting her fingers in his shirt and hauling him back to her. It wasn't a 'light me up and watch me burn' kiss, though, and that's exactly why she lets him go. Because kissing hey, babe leads down the long painful path of wanting something they're never going to be.

"Nothing," she tells him, and it's true enough. Even if it's also the kind of lie they're best at. "Just was out at a party with a bunch of kids. Didn't feel like playing cougar, didn't feel like being alone."

Wanted to be with you, might be truer, but it's as dangerous as gratuitous kissing and pre-fuck cuddling.

[notgoingtorun]

"I'm sure those kids could have learned a lot from you," he says, eyebrows arched. He plays it casual, but inside, he's starting to catalog things. He's still working on figuring out what makes Kate tick, and this is just another part of it. "Something about being older and wiser?"

He finds what passes for an opener around these parts and opens the bottle, then deftly fills both of their glasses. It's nothing he's ever heard of before, but he's had to lower his standards on wine significantly.

"To not being alone, then," he says as he hands Kate her glass, lifts his to toast.

[girlsolo]

Not drunk, no, but she's had enough that it's easy to lose track of what Neal's saying watching his mouth and his eyes pinch just that little bit like he does when he's trying to figure her out. Easy to get lost in how smooth he is and forget Lilo's dwindling ohana, dead Xindi and Auphe and all the people she's lost.

"Pretty sure how to know when an alien's gonna draw down on you isn't high on the list of party tricks," she murmurs, eyes widening when she realizes she said it out loud. Then there's the quick, "To being with you," to cover that, sigh, doesn't cover anything at all.

This was a seriously bad idea.