"My son." It's bald and flat and completely unapologetic on the subject of that child being her son. He is. Even if she's never met him, even if that wasn't her, it was her, and if Magnus shows up tomorrow, she will raise him as her son. "The one from that other timeline," she clarifies for Declan, voice still thick and raw.
"If she'd just told me about Will, it wouldn't matter. Me and Will getting together if you guys aren't around isn't a mystery or anything. But having a kid, anywhere, anytime, but especially with the world ending... it doesn't make sense. Not for me. Not for Will. We talked about it, kind of, and that helps, but... I had a kid and died on him and then Will sent him away to keep him safe, and..."
Kate looks up at Declan, eyes shiny and cheeks wet. "Now I can't stop thinking about how scared he must've been, the little guy. All alone without either of his parents. Every time I think I'm over it, I see one of the kids on the island running around looking lost, or Coraline's crying over the parents and brothers and sisters she's lost or I'm kissing a girl under the mistletoe who's minutes from bursting she's so pregnant and tonight I went to see her and signed up to help out at the Children's Office and..."
She takes a breath but keeps talking. She hates talking and if she's ever getting this out, she has to say it all now. "Then you're saying 'if we ever have a family' and you want to build a nicer house and I never wanted that. Never. But now that Magnus told me about little Magnus, I can't stop picking at it. I know it's stupid. But I feel like a hermit crab in a terrarium with nowhere to go but around in circles."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-12-19 07:14 pm (UTC)"If she'd just told me about Will, it wouldn't matter. Me and Will getting together if you guys aren't around isn't a mystery or anything. But having a kid, anywhere, anytime, but especially with the world ending... it doesn't make sense. Not for me. Not for Will. We talked about it, kind of, and that helps, but... I had a kid and died on him and then Will sent him away to keep him safe, and..."
Kate looks up at Declan, eyes shiny and cheeks wet. "Now I can't stop thinking about how scared he must've been, the little guy. All alone without either of his parents. Every time I think I'm over it, I see one of the kids on the island running around looking lost, or Coraline's crying over the parents and brothers and sisters she's lost or I'm kissing a girl under the mistletoe who's minutes from bursting she's so pregnant and tonight I went to see her and signed up to help out at the Children's Office and..."
She takes a breath but keeps talking. She hates talking and if she's ever getting this out, she has to say it all now. "Then you're saying 'if we ever have a family' and you want to build a nicer house and I never wanted that. Never. But now that Magnus told me about little Magnus, I can't stop picking at it. I know it's stupid. But I feel like a hermit crab in a terrarium with nowhere to go but around in circles."