That's good, really good, what he said. Not because it fixes it, but because he's not fighting. She kisses him for it, a quick soft kiss, then touches her forehead to his.
"I know, babe. I do. But..." Kate exhales again and tries to find words. She's great with words when it's lies and banter and bullshit. Sucks at them when it counts. "I'm not..." The word actually hurts her mouth like something spiky and metal and bitter, but she pushes it out anyway: "Broken. I don't need to be fixed or babied or rescued. I rescued myself a long time ago."
She inhales, closes her eyes, reminds herself that he loves her and this is safe and the right thing and if she tries to explain, he'll try to understand.
"The first few times we do something, I get you needing to ask and be sure. That's you being--" She smiles small and it's not faked, just strained. "British. That's okay by me. Or if something's off and you're not sure, it's okay then too. It's not even that it's a big deal you warning me when you're gonna come or asking if you can take me, not really."
As much as she wants to hide her face, she doesn't, just drops his gaze briefly to press her lips to his neck instead, steadies herself and then lifts up again so he can see her eyes. "Except. When I tell you I don't want you to and you say you're going to do it anyway, it says what I want doesn't count. Same as when you decide 'being good to me' means taking it slow and drawing it out, when what I want is something else. You're worried about respecting me and that's awesome, but the thing I need you to respect is my choices, you know?"
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"I know, babe. I do. But..." Kate exhales again and tries to find words. She's great with words when it's lies and banter and bullshit. Sucks at them when it counts. "I'm not..." The word actually hurts her mouth like something spiky and metal and bitter, but she pushes it out anyway: "Broken. I don't need to be fixed or babied or rescued. I rescued myself a long time ago."
She inhales, closes her eyes, reminds herself that he loves her and this is safe and the right thing and if she tries to explain, he'll try to understand.
"The first few times we do something, I get you needing to ask and be sure. That's you being--" She smiles small and it's not faked, just strained. "British. That's okay by me. Or if something's off and you're not sure, it's okay then too. It's not even that it's a big deal you warning me when you're gonna come or asking if you can take me, not really."
As much as she wants to hide her face, she doesn't, just drops his gaze briefly to press her lips to his neck instead, steadies herself and then lifts up again so he can see her eyes. "Except. When I tell you I don't want you to and you say you're going to do it anyway, it says what I want doesn't count. Same as when you decide 'being good to me' means taking it slow and drawing it out, when what I want is something else. You're worried about respecting me and that's awesome, but the thing I need you to respect is my choices, you know?"