[For Declan] Jan 22: when I don't know what to say

[girlsolo]

She's been here since September. Been through people getting powers, people coming, people going, the island itself changing, finding out that she's maybe fictional or some kind of crap, but it's really not until today Kate's realized just how much this place fucks with her. Over breakfast, she finds out one of the people she really likes and respects lost her husband and now she's like five months pregnant and raising the kid of someone else who left her. By herself. The kid - who she fucking loves, okay? and, whatever, just she does - lost his mom, his uncle, and now his step-dad in a place that's way too safe for death to be something you just get like she and Thad did.

And when she comes home to detox for an hour before going to make up with her boyfriend, because she's been a complete fucking jackass for a week and he could just disappear any second without her ever getting to fix it, there's this sweet set up on her porch. A laptop with a huge screen and killer resolution, long life batteries, cords, speakers, HDMI for TV hookup, seriously everything a chick could want. There's a gold bow on top and a card that says "For Kate Freelander," and when she powers it up, it's got a sick media library. Movies, tv, music, games. She's not even sure whether to laugh or cry. Which she doesn't do. Cry. Not much. Not often. Not because it's weak or whatever. It's just not her thing.

She shakes her head and packs it all up in one of her woven hemp bags. Cleans herself up. Then spends about ten minutes deciding what face she's wearing when she goes to see Declan. Leather, lace, trench coat? She lines her eyes with some kohl and smudges some berry colored stain on her mouth but she's still not sure. Maybe jewelry will settle it. With a flick of her hand, she opens the box (not her box, and fuck if she doesn't miss that) and --

The light catches on a flash of bright silver and deep, rich blue. It's beautiful.

Kate doesn't cry, but when she lifts out the bracelet and slides it around her wrist, the kohl on her eyes smears and her lashes are wet. No one's ever given her anything like this before. She's an idiot.

* * *

Half an hour later, she's on Declan's doorstep with their new system, wearing refreshed makeup, the bracelet he gave her, and a straight-up Kate face. Black leather, black lace, blue top and jeans. She knocks because it's been a week and he won't be expecting her.

"Declan?"

*
Title lyrics from Pat Benatar's We Belong.

Comments

[duerespectguv]

Admittedly, Declan's been an ass. The worst sort of ass and talking to Auggie only made it worse. He's not sure how to make up with Kate, though, and in the end decides that if she doesn't come to him by tomorrow, he's going to go find her.

When there's a knock at the door and she's on his doorstep, Declan's smile is warm, genuine and more than a bit relieved.

"Katie-love. Was about to go looking for you tomorrow."

[girlsolo]

Katie-love.

God.

Without a word, she puts down the bag she's carrying and slides her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. About all of it. I love you." Because she has to get it out. She has to get the words out before he can disappear or she starts crying and doesn't stop. "I'm sorry."

[duerespectguv]

"It's all right, I was an ass too, you know," Declan promises, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. "I should have been less stubborn and went and apologized but I didn't."

He holds her for a few moments before leaning down and pressing a kiss against her hair. It feels good to have her here again, after a week of not really seeing her at all.

[girlsolo]

"Yeah," she says softly and mostly muffled against his chest. "You were." Her eyes close. When she's not with him, it always seems like she's doing fine on her own. But then it's like this, and it suddenly feels like she hasn't take a full breath in days.

"But I shouldn't have been such a jackass about sex. It wasn't even really about that. I'd just..it was a really long day of not being able to do fucking anything to help a friend and nothing going right. I think I just needed one thing to go right that I didn't have to fight for."

[duerespectguv]

"And of course I had to give you resistance," Declan says, kissing the top of her head and tugging at her so she's inside and he can push the door shut. It's good to see her after so many days without and there's always the niggling concern in the back of his mind that one or the both of them could disappear without warning. It happens, here on the island.

"C'mon, then. We're on the way to being fine now, yeah?"

[girlsolo]

Kate grabs the bag before he pulls the door shut on it. "Sensitive electronics in there," she explains as a reason she's pulled away.

But as soon as they're safely inside, she smiles up at him and pushes back the sleeve on her jacket to show off the bracelet. "I think we passed fine when you slipped this in my jewelry." She bit her lip and tried not to get all misty-eyed and shit. It's not the gift itself. It's just that no one's ever... "It's really beautiful, babe. You didn't have to. I wasn't going anywhere. Swear."

[duerespectguv]

It's not something he recognizes, the bracelet, and Declan touches it and frowns a bit as he tries to work out where it came from. If he'd given it to her, he'd be happy that she was pleased but as it is, well. He's not sure where it came from.

"Never seen that before, love. I'm sorry, I didn't get it for you. Don't even know where you'd get something like that on the island, even."

[girlsolo]

"Oh." Kate frowns at the bracelet, trying not to be too upset about the fact he didn't give it to her. It's not like she needs presents from him to know how he feels and she'd been planning to come back today anyway. It just stings a little.

"I guess it could be a present, like one of the ones everyone's been getting. But I haven't heard of anyone getting two." She tips her head toward the bag. "I got what's in there."

A thought occurs to her, that someone might be fucking with her. Trixa or one of the others she stole shit from, but she buries it for now. It's not Declan's problem and she'll deal with it later.

[duerespectguv]

"I haven't gotten a present. Maybe it's mine and they decided to cut out the middle man," Declan says, shrugging. It's not something he wants to think about overly much, not when he's not seen her in a week.

He wraps his arm around her waist and catches her chin in his hand. "May I kiss you, love?"

[girlsolo]

"I don't think it works like that. I mean, it might give you something to give me, I guess, but it would probably still come to you." She's not sure why she thinks that. It just doesn't really make sense any other way.

But since he didn't get it for her, she kind of doesn't want to be wearing it. It's not hers and it feels weird. "Let me just take it off before we kiss and make up. I don't... it's weird. If it's not from you, I don't think I want it." And she definitely doesn't want him kissing her while she's wearing it.

[duerespectguv]

"That's fine," Declan says, frowning slightly. He doesn't want her to feel out of sorts, not when they've been off all week, and if taking the bracelet off helps, he's happy to wait.

"For what it's worth, I wish I had gotten it for you. You deserve it."

[girlsolo]

She's not sure what to say to that or any of the things it makes her feel, so she just kind of shrugs and says, "Thanks," quietly, while she's taking the bracelet off. Wouldn't you know it went on easily enough. Like it was freaking made for her, but she can't get the clasp to release with one hand right now.

No, her fingers aren't shaking. Whatever. She holds her wrist out to him. "Can you? It's hard to do one-handed."

[duerespectguv]

"I've got it," Declan promises, unhooking the clasp and leaning in to kiss the inside of her wrist lightly as he pulls the bracelet off. He wishes he'd lied, almost, just because seeing her bothered by it is worse than just about anything he can imagine.

"Love you, Katie."

[duerespectguv]

Waking up to Kate still being tucked next to him's a bit new and Declan doesn't want to disturb her and lose the novelty of it. Instead, he shifts his head slightly to kiss the top of her hair and grins to himself, content to have her sleep on him as long as she wants so long as his limbs don't start going numb.

[girlsolo]

Kate's been sleeping over, waking up in Declan's bed for months now, but she usually wakes up before him (which is weird, when she thinks about it, since she's slack-ass and he's British military, but it's probably because she's less twitchy if she's out of bed before he wakes up). Not always, and less and less lately, but it's still kind of new, waking up in his arms and she likes it. She likes how when he thinks she's sleeping, he kisses and touches her like he can't really believe she's here and he's lucky or something.

Which, he totally is, because there's half-a-dozen guys on the island who'd love to be in his place and he's the only one she's waking up with. So she just kind of sprawls over him, arm wrapped around his waist and one leg over his and when she's pretty sure he can't be buying the 'I'm asleep' routine any longer, kisses his chest.

[duerespectguv]

This is nice, the slow wake-up, and Declan takes full advantage by burying his hand that much deeper in her hair when she starts kissing his chest. It'll end up leading to...other things that'll keep them in bed longer but he's got no place to be other than with Katie so it honestly doesn't matter.

"Morning, love."

[girlsolo]

"Mmmph," comes Kate's reply. Sue her, she hasn't had coffee and her mouth's busy. He's sleep-sticky even though they washed up last night after sex, but Kate doesn't mind the salt and musk on his skin. Especially not when he's got his hand in her hair like that and she's thinking yeah, good morning, babe while she's kissing her way down his chest to his stomach.

[duerespectguv]

"How eloquent," Declan teases, voice warm and sweet. It feels good to be like this but he knows he won't be able to take it for long before he's rolling her under him to return the favor.

"Better take your time, love, because then I get my turn."

[girlsolo]

Kate holds up a hand and flips him off cheerfully for the eloquent, not even pausing to do it. But she does flip her hair over her head so that it joins her mouth in dragging over his abs.

Her body tightens from the tone of his voice and the suggestion he's taking his turn. It's stupid how fast she gets wet for him, how fast she rolls for him, and how completely. But she kind of likes it anyway.

Right now, she's showing him just how much time she can take, swirling her tongue over skin that rarely gets kissed. Slow slow wicked slow. He can't really complain. It was his idea.

[duerespectguv]

It was his idea, yeah, and Declan should have known that if given an inch, Kate's going to take a bloody mile. Right now, he's got no complaints about that mile and the drag of her hair along his chest is a sensation he'd never expect to feel so good.

"Could I get an itinerary of your plans down there or are you looking to surprise me?"

[girlsolo]

"Magnus says it's low-brow to talk with your mouth full." Kate smirks up at him, mouth not yet full but threatening to be to be soon. In case he's not sure of that, she runs the tip of her finger up his shaft, deliberate but also playful when it swirls around the head but skips the tip.

"You really need me to spell it out for you, babe, or are you just looking to hear me say I want to suck your brain out through your dick?"

[duerespectguv]

"The words are nice. I'd rather get to the action portion of it," Declan says, rolling his hips up slightly against her to encourage her in that direction, not that she needs it. Kate's always generous with physical affection and this is certainly no exception to the rule.

[girlsolo]

Kate definitely doesn't need the encouragement, but it's never a bad thing to know the guy you're about to suck off is looking forward to it. She grins up at him, runs her tongue over her already swollen lips, and then ducks down to get back to business.

He's hard already, has been since he woke up, and Kate's probably as eager as he is. She loves giving head, has never understood chicks who think it's a burden or a birthday gift. As soon as she gets her lips around his head, she gives herself over to the salt and musk of his precum and the heat of him against her tongue.

[duerespectguv]

Declan's glad she doesn't think it's a chore because it's something he loves and, if Kate weren't so bloody obvious about liking it, something he'd never ask for. As it is, he gently winds his hands in her hair and murmurs nonsense. He doesn't know if she likes to hear that but, luckily, she's never actually complained so he just goes with what feels good.

[girlsolo]

Kate's ambivalent about one thing and only one thing when it comes to blow jobs: whether they should be fast and hard, him fucking her mouth, or slow and leisurely. Since this is just for him (kinda, since she gets off on it anyway), she decides fast and hard today, and gets messy about it.

She's not even trying to draw it out, just giving him everything she knows he likes and then some. Her mouth is wet, spit's all over her face and his thighs all mixed up with his precum, her head bobs, cheeks hollowing to suck him in deep and throat open to swallow him. He'll probably have a set of bruises from how hard she's holding his thighs for balance, and she'll probably lick and suck and bite them to make them bigger.

She's his, but he's hers, too. And she always makes damn sure he knows it.