[For Declan] Jan 22: when I don't know what to say

[girlsolo]

She's been here since September. Been through people getting powers, people coming, people going, the island itself changing, finding out that she's maybe fictional or some kind of crap, but it's really not until today Kate's realized just how much this place fucks with her. Over breakfast, she finds out one of the people she really likes and respects lost her husband and now she's like five months pregnant and raising the kid of someone else who left her. By herself. The kid - who she fucking loves, okay? and, whatever, just she does - lost his mom, his uncle, and now his step-dad in a place that's way too safe for death to be something you just get like she and Thad did.

And when she comes home to detox for an hour before going to make up with her boyfriend, because she's been a complete fucking jackass for a week and he could just disappear any second without her ever getting to fix it, there's this sweet set up on her porch. A laptop with a huge screen and killer resolution, long life batteries, cords, speakers, HDMI for TV hookup, seriously everything a chick could want. There's a gold bow on top and a card that says "For Kate Freelander," and when she powers it up, it's got a sick media library. Movies, tv, music, games. She's not even sure whether to laugh or cry. Which she doesn't do. Cry. Not much. Not often. Not because it's weak or whatever. It's just not her thing.

She shakes her head and packs it all up in one of her woven hemp bags. Cleans herself up. Then spends about ten minutes deciding what face she's wearing when she goes to see Declan. Leather, lace, trench coat? She lines her eyes with some kohl and smudges some berry colored stain on her mouth but she's still not sure. Maybe jewelry will settle it. With a flick of her hand, she opens the box (not her box, and fuck if she doesn't miss that) and --

The light catches on a flash of bright silver and deep, rich blue. It's beautiful.

Kate doesn't cry, but when she lifts out the bracelet and slides it around her wrist, the kohl on her eyes smears and her lashes are wet. No one's ever given her anything like this before. She's an idiot.

* * *

Half an hour later, she's on Declan's doorstep with their new system, wearing refreshed makeup, the bracelet he gave her, and a straight-up Kate face. Black leather, black lace, blue top and jeans. She knocks because it's been a week and he won't be expecting her.

"Declan?"

*
Title lyrics from Pat Benatar's We Belong.

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[girlsolo]

Her cunt pulses at the nip, but the whimper gives way to a sigh, soft. She lets her head down to rest against his shoulder, hoping he'll keep stroking her hair but not wanting to ask for it.

"No. Might make me the best fucked woman on the island, though," she teases. Her hand runs out his shoulder and down his arm. God, she loves his body. "If I stay, you gonna make it worth my while?"

[duerespectguv]

"Well, yeah," Declan says. That's always the case with them, anyway, and while it's not all about sex, sometimes it's just easier to communicate physically than verbally. It's good to have the chance to reconnect, anyway.

"Missed you. Want the time together, if you can stand it."

[girlsolo]

Kate leans into his hand, catlike encouragement for physical affection. She's starved for his touch and that more than anything slams it through her, "I missed this. Not the sex. I mean, I did. But I missed the way you touch me, just because you know you can."

She's not ready to not have her own space. She may never be ready to have her own space. But she needs to be with him. "I'll stay. We can't stay here in the hut the whole time or I'll lose my mind, but I'll come back here with you at night and stuff."

[duerespectguv]

"Well, I wouldn't ask you to stay all day. I'd be bored with that and you'd be clawing your eyes out," Declan says, laughing warmly. She's like a cat, actually - content to be stroked and petted on her own terms and ready to get the hell out when she's done with it. He's fine with that, though, so long as she always comes home eventually.

"But if you can manage staying over a night or two, I'd like that."

[girlsolo]

Grinning, Kate leans over him and nips his ear, then swirls her tongue in it. "Something wrong with your hearing, British? Already said I'd stay."

She knows he thinks it's all about the sex with her. In some ways it is, but not how he probably thinks. It's just, she's never been been able to have this with anyone. The kissing and touching and in-between stuff, just being with someone instead of having to run.

[duerespectguv]

"Just...confirming. Since that's not the norm for us," Declan says and then realizes, belatedly, that's likely going to put him right back into the doghouse after having just made up for being an arse before.

"I like this, though. Having you with me."

[girlsolo]

"So," she says and props herself up, because if they keep talking this direction she's going to get tense. "Movie we do watch first or movie we don't watch?"

Because she wants to be with him. She wants to stay tonight and not leave. "I'll even let you choose."