Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure

[girlsolo]

"Hey! Quit it!" Larry or Curly or Ding Dong, the damned orphan monkey Magnus handed her to bathe is unimpressed and Kate has more shampoo in her hair than it has in its fur. "I didn't ask you to groom me, you little creep. Roy's bad enough!"

The tussle continues with LCD - it has a name, but Kate likes hers better - until the critter's finally clean and asleep, Kate's soaked to the skin and her hair is drying in loose waves around her face. Since there's no one in the office but her and Magnus when she gets back inside, Kate doesn't bother ducking in an exam room to pull off her scrub-top.

"I never thought I'd miss Flying Guy. At least he only pulls my hair and makes crass suggestions." Kate's teasing, trying to get the boss to lighten up a bit. She's had that pinched look all day and if Will hasn't been able to get rid of it, she might need someone to talk to. "I've never had to change my shirt from dealing with him."

She pulls on a tank top for recon with Declan after they're done here and makes a face, wincing slightly at the fresh bruises from last night with Aidan, but it's quickly replaced by a godyeah smile from the other aches. Damn.

*

Title and lj cut lyrics from Rihanna's S&M.

Comments

[notsocommon]

After speaking with Sam, Helen was more than a little worried about Kate. While she doubted Kate had been forcibly raped considering just how self-aware she was and how incredibly trained she was in hand-to-hand, Helen had to wonder if someone hadn't taken advantage of her emotional state.

Will should be the one doing this but when she'd seen the bruises for herself, Helen decided it was high time to bring it up.

"Kate? Might I have a word?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Uh oh. That doesn't sound good. She doesn't sound pissed off or frosty, but that's definitely not the let's get a drink and chit chat tone.

Kate slides on a light jacket and strolls the few steps to Magnus. "Sure thing, doc. What's up?" she asks, tone telling the lie that she's completely casual about this even though her eyes stay soft-focused on Magnus.

[notsocommon]

"I'm a bit...concerned. I know it's difficult, adjusting to this place when you're so used to our lives back home but I'm worried someone's taking advantage of that to push you further than you'd normally want to be pushed."

Helen paused, trying to decide what to say. "You know if...if someone's hurt you, you can always talk to me or Will or, and I hope he doesn't mind me including him, Declan."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Jesus. It's like a regular Rape Crisis Counseling Center around here!" Kate snaps and shakes her head hard. First Declan, then Sam, now Magnus.

Her jaw tightens and her fingers hurt from clenching her fists so hard. "No one did anything I didn't want them to, Magnus. The only thing that got taken advantage of last night is the structural integrity of the hut we were in. I'm fine."

[notsocommon]

Helen lifted a hand in a gesture of peacemaking and nodded. All right, she had different sexual preferences than the average person. Helen wasn't the sort to judge that, not considering her own...proclivities.

"I just wanted to be certain, Kate, and now I am. Liking something a bit left of normal isn't wrong and anyone who tells you it is, well. Perhaps an attitude adjustment is in order."

She gave her a little smile. "I wouldn't have said anything at all if I didn't care about you."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"It's not like that, doc," Kate says softly, apologetic and tucks her arms across her chest. She didn't really mean to explode in Magnus's face. It's just...

She's getting tired of having to explain what should be obvious. She's not a good girl or a nice girl. She likes guns and fights and making bad guys hurt. Why is it a surprise she likes her sex a little on the rough side?

"I'm not a pain slut. No one's hitting me or throwing me up against walls. We're just banging into them together. Scratching and biting instead of kissing and petting--" She shrugs just a little. "We're not making love because it's not about love. It's about... I don't know about pushing to limits and past them. Not feeling trapped, I guess."

[notsocommon]

"Kate, think about who I loved for the majority of my life," Helen said, lips curving into a small smile. "I understand pushing limits and being a bit...rough. More than a bit rough, even. I also know that sex is so incredibly nuanced that what may seem like a poor situation is actually comfortable and longed after by someone else."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Considering how understanding Magnus is being, Kate bites back the usual I'd rather not when it comes to Druitt. The less she thinks about him the better. Hate's not even a strong enough word and every time he looks at Magnus, Kate wants to gut him. He doesn't deserve her, and it makes her really, really glad Will's with her now. He wouldn't ever hurt her.

Instead she manages a dark, soft-eyed smile that's maybe a little sad around the edges. "I just don't want you thinking you can't trust my judgment. I know I make bad choices sometimes, but this isn't one."

[notsocommon]

"I trust your judgment in the field. I also know that given the stress of a new situation, one with which you are unfamiliar and unable to rely on your normal range of skill, you might be in a vulnerable place. You've done brilliantly as a vet's assistant, though. Top marks," Helen said, smiling a little.

"I have every confidence you'll be just fine. You just need an adjustment period, or something like."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Adjustment period. Kate suppresses the urge to demand Magnus stop being weird and start telling her they're going to find a way out of here.

She sighs a little. "How long did it take you to adjust?" but what she really wants to ask is if Magnus is okay, if she needs to talk about anything. There was a look in her eyes when she mentioned Druitt that Kate didn't like at all.

[notsocommon]

"To the island? It wasn't so bad. Will was here, of course. I was melancholy about losing my longevity and still am but the benefits I gain by having a mortal life far outweigh any longing to be immortal once again."

She smiled a bit and shook her head. "Besides, I always reinvent myself, don't I?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Kate bites her lip and tries to sort out the things she wants to say. It's a still sort of a new thing for her, not just letting the defensive snark spill out, but newer for Will and Magnus probably to see her doing it.

"It's probably going to take me a lot longer, doc." Forever. It sucks, being here when her whole life is somewhere else. "I finally found something worth living for and I don't want to give it up." Which is a whole barrel of understatement but she's too strung out as it is.

There's something else she wants to say though, something more important. "But I..." Her lips press together and she ducks her head. "I'm going to sound like bad daytime tv for a minute. Sorry about that." Her mouth twists and the words taste wry. "I don't want to be here and I'm never going to stop trying to go home, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be here for you. If you...need to talk about stuff. Druitt, Tesla, Will, whatever, things that might be hard to talk to Will about now, I'll be here. Okay?"

[notsocommon]

One eyebrow lifted curiously, followed by a twitch in Helen's mouth as her smile wavered a bit. Kate hadn't spelled out what she meant but Helen was sharp enough to glean a meaning between the lines, given their earlier topic of conversation.

"You...want to talk to me about John and Nikola? I haven't talked about John to anyone but Will in ages."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Quickly, Kate shakes her head. She even reaches out to the boss, touches the back of her hand. "I'm not asking. I just was thinking, sometimes you might need someone to talk to who isn't Will or Tesla, someone you can trust. I know you've got other people here, but I want..."

Sighing, Kate gives her a wry smile. "I sound like the stupidest movie of the week ever. I don't get how 'normal' people talk like this all the time. It's weird. I'm just saying if you need someone, you've got me."

[notsocommon]

"Ah, well, I hope you know that you can talk to me too," Helen said finally. It was a bit awkward if only because Helen had trouble connecting with people from time to time but Kate was different. Kate was part of her team, part of her family.

"About anything, good or bad?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"About everything, Magnus." Kate cocks her head, studying Magnus just a little. Trixa said she's hard to read, and she does have one hell of a pokerface, but Kate's had a lot of practice.

"You're not just my boss. You're one of my best friends." One of her only friends, if they get sticky about it. She's never had much use for 'friends'. Allies, yeah. But 'friends' are pretty much defined as 'the people who will eventually sell you out', or they were until the Sanctuary became home.

[notsocommon]

It was nice to have a girlfriend again and since coming to the island, Helen had gained several, but only because she'd had Kate back home to start that seed within her once again to fill the hole that Ashley had left behind.

"We should go to the beach, I think. Take the afternoon to ourselves?"

Unheard of from the old Helen Magnus, perhaps, but she was trying to embrace her new life.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate flashes a bright, warm grin and nods. "Yeah, sure."

It's kind of surprising, yeah, and doesn't fit with her plan to spend her days looking for ways to get out of here. But girl-time with Magnus isn't really something you turn down if you're Kate Freelander. Besides, she figures if she likes it here a little better it won't suck as much while she and Declan and Tesla are trying to get out.

She cocks her head then wags a finger at her. "But you have to promise you're taking the whole day off, because there will be pina coladas involved."

[notsocommon]

Helen laughed and nodded, deciding it'd be all right to take one afternoon off, in the grand scheme of things. Nobody would care. She'd still be Helen Magnus tomorrow even if she spent this afternoon drinking on the beach.

"All right. Shall we put ourselves at the mercy of the clothes box for swimming costumes, then?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Bathing suits, Magnus. Bathing suits." Kate shakes her head and laughs. Sometimes Magnus is so Victorian it's seriously cute. "I should put you in a tent. You already have the best guy on the island eating out of you hand."

It's the first time she's really tried to talk to Magnus about her and Will, so she hopes that turns out okay.

[notsocommon]

Helen smiled, dimple flashing in her cheek. It was a little-known (or perhaps well-known, Helen wasn't sure) secret that she loved to talk about her relationship with Will even if that made her more like a teenage girl than she ever cared to be.

"He's rather sweet, yes. It's been a very long time since I had a relationship with someone as sweet and thoughtful as Will is and while others might...question that choice, I think I deserve it."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Jesus, the woman is beautiful when she smiles like that. Like, hurts to look at her gorgeous. Kate's always had kind of a thing for her, but seeing her happy, man, if it weren't for Will, it would take all of her restraint and then some not to flirt with her out of hand.

"Told you, if anyone's giving you a hard time about Will, you just point me at them." Now she feels kind of guilty for indulging Tesla sometimes, but she kinda figures if he can mock Will at her, he'll leave Will and Magnus alone. She heads out the door, leading Magnus back up to the Compound. "And if Tesla's giving you crap, I can shut him up too," she decides to say, and she kind of hopes Magnus doesn't ask how, because, um... yeah.

[notsocommon]

"I think I can handle Nikola. I just don't like the concubine comments," Helen admitted, frowning a bit as she spoke. "Or the insinuation that he's not good enough for me. I chose him. That makes him good enough by default, doesn't it?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate winces at that. "Listen, about that. I said something to Sam, and I was really teasing him, but it might've come off bad, if he said anything to you. I'm really sorry. Whether he said anything about it or not, it wasn't cool."

If anything she'd done so far on the island should prove to Magnus that she's not that girl she used to know, Kate figures an unsolicited apology might do it.

"You and Will make sense to me, doc. He's crazy about you and he makes you happy. You're obviously the best thing that's ever happened to him, me, all of us. So screw Tesla. He's just jealous."

[notsocommon]

"He did mention it but no apology is necessary, Kate. I know you care for Will and didn't mean it as an insult."

Helen grinned and nodded toward the door. "We should probably get a move on with those beach plans, shouldn't we?"