[For Will] If I could have my way, I'd check out right now

[girlsolo]

It's not that Kate wants to talk to Will. She just wants to talk to him. It's not the same thing. One's like, Will staring into her soul and pulling out all the crap she's not proud of and making her want to be better. The other's just, spending time with her BFF. Hanging out. Maybe getting a few beers.

Back home, she'd get Hank and try to drag Will out with them to a club or something. Here...here, he's dating Magnus and how does she even hang out with the boss's boyfriend? It's weird. But not talking to him's weirder and with the whole Magnus and Tesla getting powers thing and Coraline and Sam and everything with Declan and Aidan and Tesla and...

Kate just needs to talk to her BFF for a little while. Just hang out. That's all. Which is why she's got the bottle Sam brought her from Rapture tucked in the crook of her arm and her hands in her pockets, even though it's late afternoon and Will's not that much of a drinker.

Not a self-medicater, is what she means to say, her inner Will voice tells her. She tells it to shut the fuck up and knocks on the door to the hut instead. Magnus won't be there now, but maybe Will is. If not...she'll find somewhere else to self-medicate.

*
Title and LJ cut lyrics from Melissa Etheridge's Brave and Crazy.

Comments

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate tucks herself under his arm, moving close enough for their thighs to touch. "Yeah." She rests her head against his shoulder for a minute, glad he gets that part of it. But...

"You're a good guy, Will. You're a white hat. You've always been a white hat. I'm not. It's not..." Fuck. She hates this. "It's not just my family. It's..." Her voice drops to a whisper, like if she says it too loud she's going to make it true. "My one shot at making things right."

[inabmovie]

"Or maybe it's another shot at making things right," he offered, after thinking about it a second. He dropped his arm down around her shouders for a brief squeeze, then draped his arm over the couch again.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"It's not." Kate shakes her head. She knows it's not. "The Abnormals I hurt, they're not here. It's not a shot at redemption. It's a fresh start." And she doesn't deserve one. "I made myself a lot of those. It never took."

[inabmovie]

Will wanted to beat his head against the wall a little out of the frustration of not getting through to her, but he kept that to himself. "You have to do the best you can with what you have," Will said finally. "I know that sucks. I do." It was part of the whole package of being stuck here, learning how to do what you could with what you had so it was more like living and less like just existing. "It doesn't mean you're giving up on home or anything, or that you don't care about anything before this, it just means you're trying to live. I know you can't see that right now."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I can see just fine," Kate snaps and pulls away. She can see that Will thinks like someone who never sold Abnormals or killed anyone and that he still doesn't get her at all.

Just as fast, she sees she's not being fair. She cares. She does, but...

Kate plants her elbows on her knees and leans over them, head in her hands. "This was a bad idea. I can't... I'm not ready to do this." Not with you.

[inabmovie]

Well, shit. Will had thought trying to empathize with her was the right thing to do, but apparently not. Damn. "It's okay," he said, and though he wanted to pat her on the shoulder or hug her or something, he didn't.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

It's not okay. It's the farthest thing from okay. It's never going to be okay, Kate screams inside her head, fingers curling so tight in her hair it pulls.

"It's not your fault," she says instead. "I'll be fine. I always am."

[inabmovie]

"Well, you know where I am, if you ever want to try this again," he said. He was aiming for casual, which wasn't really what he felt then, and mostly succeeded. It wasn't like talking to a patient. It was more personal, and Will couldn't help feeling a little stung.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I'm not breaking up with you," Kate says and her tone strongly implies both the moron and the asshole she doesn't add. But she rakes her hands through her hair and grabs the bottle she brought with her. "I just...can't talk about this. Not now."

I didn't want to talk, Will. I just wanted to talk. But maybe they can't talk until they've talked.