[Oct. 13-20] full stops and exclamation marks

[girlsolo]

Kate's back to drinking tequila again. That's never a good sign. Tonight it's a sign she's bouncing between sexy check-in notes with Declan that make this island seem all right and people like Coraline screaming and crying over how much it fucking sucks.

The smart thing to do would be find Will or Magnus, talk some of this out. Even finding someone to spar with, that would work. Thing is, Kate's not that kind of smart. When it comes to helping Coraline? Sure. Yeah. She's been listening to Will do his shrink thing for years now. But when it comes to herself?

Fuck that noise. She'd still rather fuck and forget.

Kate leans her back against a post to watch the room, drinks another shot (hot wheels only, no training), and flirts at whatever makes eye contact. Whether she's Go or just Show, she hasn't decided yet. Mostly, she's trying not to look for anyone in particular. She's trying not to wish he'd come in and just...

Take her home.

[OOC: Find her at the Hub or the Winchester (let me know) any evening between now and the 20th. Available for all of your Freelander needs. If you need a specific date, email me, otherwise I'll work them out. For the record, Kate's very bi but a lot less available than she thinks she is.]

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[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"And got zapped with teleportation in the island superhero lottery," Kate returns evenly and sips her beer to give herself time to think. "I could lie and say it has nothing to do with you. I could even make you believe it. But I owe you more than that."

She rubs her thumb across her own hand. "It's different here, you and me. We get drinks together instead of flipping over balconies together. I'm someone you talk to, instead of someone you want watching your back. You care and you trust me, but all the stuff that made that happen at home got wiped away by me coming here. It's screwed up, I know, but..."

Kate shrugs. It doesn't make a lot of sense in words, but Will seemed to get it and Steve did. "Running around taking a bunch of stuff that was of no value to me and making sure people got it back...you know how much damage I could do, if I meant to. And if I ever had a reason, getting everything that mattered to me taken away was it. But I didn't do that. I was careful--" Except with other Kate's feeling and she's apologized for that, pretty thoroughly. It'd been dumb, not cruel. "And when I got caught, I confessed and now I'm doing my time. It's stupid and I didn't sit down and plan it or anything, but I think maybe I just needed to do it again. Show you, maybe show me. Do something bad and make a good choice, so you'd know I'm not like I used to be."

[notsocommon]

"I didn't exactly need the demonstration but I understand, at least a little. Kate, you don't need to prove yourself to me. I trust you. I love you. I don't know what else I can do to show you that," Helen said, spreading her hands out in front of her.

"I suspect there's not something I can really do to change this feeling, is it?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate shakes her head, smiling a little as she reaches for one of Magnus's hands again. "It's getting better, honest. Like I said, I think I needed to show me, too. That if I screwed up, I'd make good choices about how to handle it."

She runs her thumb over the back of Magnus's hand now and tries not to think how weird that is. Or how much that's like what she's doing with Declan. There's more she'd say, but her voice is caught in her throat.

It takes her a minute to get out the, "It means a lot, what you just said. It's not. You've never said it at home. But I think you know I love you too."

[notsocommon]

"I know," Helen murmured, lips curving in an enigmatic smile. "I love you like my own family, Kate, and I don't like to see you hurting. If there was anything I could do to make this better, I would, but as it is I think I have to leave you to find a way to fix it yourself, yes?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I needed to talk to Will," she says after another long sip of her beer. "It was really messing me up, being out of step with him. It's different with you, because...you're you, you know? You've been here a year and some but at home that year didn't change you much. Will..." Kate shakes her head, not sure she should be telling all this to Magnus. "He's like me. The time that you guys don't overlap with me, Will...changed a lot. And he's changed here, too. It's more like losing him completely and starting over. At home, we're pretty close. So...getting right with him was the big thing. And knowing you don't hate me for screwing up, that's the other."

[notsocommon]

"Are we on the right path now, then?" Helen asked, not sure what it was that she needed from the two of them to reconcile the Helen and Will she had at home with the Helen and Will on the island.

"I merely want to help, Kate, in any way that I can."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate glances down at their hands, drawing Magnus's eyes to the way she's holding Magnus's hands almost how Will used to do sometimes when she'd get freaked out and not want to tell anyone how freaked she was. She lifts her head again and smiles. "We're fine, doc. And Will and I are doing good."

She and Will are, but Will's not the only person from home she's messed with lately. Kate frowns. "I think Nikola's plotting to murder me in my sleep though." It doesn't strike her until after she says it that she just first-named him. Meh. "Tesla."

[notsocommon]

After Alcuin mentioning Kate having some sort of jealousy over Nikola or whatever it was and now hearing Kate call him by his given name, Helen couldn't help but arch a brow. Still, she wouldn't comment on it now.

"Why is Nikola cross with you, then?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Because." Kate twitches a small smile. The thing is, it's actually funny. But she's not sure if Magnus will think so. "I intercepted one of his love notes to Alcuin and pretended to be a jealous lover."

[notsocommon]

"Oh dear God, Kate, really?"

Helen's voice was a little pained at that because the only thing worse than Nikola was someone feeding into his antics. From what she could tell, he seemed to have something of genuine feelings toward Alcuin and Helen wasn't inclined to poke at it.

"Why on earth did you do that?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Whoops. Okay, not funny? Her nose wrinkles and she shrugs, frowning a little. "Pulling pigtails, partially. We've been messing with each other since...you know. But you know how he is. I also kind of wanted to warn Alcuin, I guess."

Warn Alcuin to guard his heart. Like she kept trying to do with Declan. Because she and Tesla were cut from the same cloth. Weren't they?

[notsocommon]

"Alcuin's fully aware of the situation, so far as I can tell. He's not as innocent as he seems. I spoke with him, Kate, and had many of the same concerns. He cares about Nikola, I think, and I think Nikola returns it. It's not our place to really step in the middle of that."

At least, Helen didn't feel like it was her place. Kate might possibly feel differently. "Anyway, I suppose no harm came out of it?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Alcuin told me off--" Kate quirks a little smile at that. He had more steel than she'd expected. "So I think he's fine. And, realistically, as long as Tesla's plotting against me, he's not hurting anyone else, right?"

[notsocommon]

"Exactly," Helen said, beaming at her. "If that keeps him from world domination, I will support it fully. I'll even help you start a prank war. Did you know he stole my laptop and reprogrammed it so I couldn't get any work done? The nerve."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"You sure that was him and not Will and me?" Kate asks innocently, eyes wide and smile angelic.

[notsocommon]

"Considering he told me it was him, I'm going with Nikola. I never even suspected Will."

Helen arched a brow. "Why? Should I have suspected Will? Do you have inside information?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate clicks her tongue and shakes her head, playful. "Now, now, doc. I would never rat Will out if he was trying to get you to kick back and relax." Her eyes are wicked, but there's nothing in it but fun. "Boyfriend knows best after all."

Boyfriend. Kate's expression flickers, wavering. She'd really like to talk to Magnus about Declan, but she's not sure she should. She's his friend too.

[notsocommon]

"I will never get used to referring to Will as my boyfriend," Helen admitted quietly. "I guess because I feel like I'm too old to have a boyfriend or be considered someone's girlfriend. Old-fashioned of me, isn't it?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Pfft. You guys are so cute it's disgusting." She taps the back of Magnus's hand, soft tease in her eyes and her tone. "He's definitely your boyfriend. I bet he even carries your books for you."

[notsocommon]

"I don't carry books but I agree, he probably would," Helen said, grinning wide enough to show her dimple. "I'm positively stupid over him, I can admit that easily enough."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Was it always easy?" The words just tumble out, and then Kate's kicking her damned self and very interested in her beer.

[notsocommon]

"What? Hardly. Shortly after we came to the island, I got a bit...tipsy, shall we say, and I kissed Will. He didn't kiss me back and things got very awkward for a stretch. It didn't help matters much when he walked in on me having sex with another doctor in the clinic."

It was hard to admit those things, especially considering Helen had made an ass of herself, but she couldn't be anything but honest with Kate.

"We didn't speak and then he made a truce on my birthday. Things were better until I found a letter he wrote in the case of his death and it said, he said he loved me, so I confronted him but he didn't want a relationship."

Helen took a deep breath and sipped at her drink.

"I tried to push it and he turned down sex with me...it was a very big mess before we finally worked it out. It...it affected a lot of things because I felt like he didn't want me and I was afraid to ask him for things."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate feels like a cartoon version of herself, eyes so wide they're going to pop out of her head. "Sorry, I--"

She shakes her head. If it was Will or Henry she'd be giving them the face of way TMI right now. But it's Magnus and Kate's no shrink but she kind of thinks Magnus maybe needed to tell someone that. Or needed someone else she could tell.

It's weird, being there for her and for Will. But it's probably the daytime talk therapy "being there" that's weird more than anything.

"That's pretty rough. But take it from me. If there's anything I know about guys, it's when they want someone. Will wants you. Will's wanted you since I met him." She holds up her hand. "It's nothing he said. He's just... the walking definition of off limits and he pretty much always has been."

[notsocommon]

"Unless one's name is Helen Magnus, I presume?" Helen asked, smirk playing at her lips. Will was hers and, for all intents and purposes, had been hers a lot longer than they'd actually been a couple.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Obviously."

Kate smiles and pulls her hands back to drink her beer. When she puts it down again, she rotates the glass in the ring of condensation on the table. It's not Will she's thinking about. Or Magnus.

"I've never had a boyfriend," she says finally. Out of everyone she might talk to, she kind of thinks Magnus might get this best. It's not really talking about Declan. It's talking about her.