[For Druitt, Will] Jan 14th: there's gonna be a hand to wipe that smile off your face

[girlsolo]

Kate's glad when Auggie leaves with Annie. She's blonde. Pretty. Flirty. Civilian. Druitt-bait and her boyfriend's hell-bent on pinning a rap on him. Kate still thinks he did it or he knows something, but the way Druitt's acting... it doesn't track. And Kate's tired. It's pointless and a waste of time.

She's just about to give up and go search the caves when she sees Will. Crap. She really didn't want him to get involved. If there's anyone Druitt wants to hurt on the island, it's got to be Will.

"Come on, Baldy. Stop fucking around." Even from here, she can feel Magnus scowling at her language. "If you didn't do anything, tell me what you know!" He's lying about something.


*

Title lyrics from Thea Gilmore's Heads Will Roll

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[iliketodruitt]

"Thank you, I appreciate that you at least acknowledge that I have been a model citizen so far," he said, giving her a polite smile. Just because he was furious at her didn't mean he had to let her know it.

"I have not pulled a knife on anyone while here nor have I committed any crimes. Can you say the same? And Will is always welcome to refuse treatment and what is between Helen and I is just that, between Helen and I. Of course, I understand her taking you in is a direct result of my actions, but that gives you no right to think you understand our situation at all."

[girlsolo]

"Will can't refuse treatment, you fucking fuck, and don't pretend you don't know it!" Kate snarls, patience lost and body coiling for a strike. The rest of it's bullshit and she couldn't care less but that...

He knows. He totally knows that Will can't deny him treatment without upsetting Magnus or going against everything that matters to him and so he has to sit and listen to Druitt tell him god fucking knows what about his life with Helen and--

"It's not the parasite that made you a monster. It's that you don't even fucking care." The last word coincides with her launching herself at him. She doesn't want to kill him. She just wants him to shut the hell up.

[iliketodruitt]

"I trust him to do what is best for everyone, if you don't have that kind of faith in your friends, that is your problem," he said, not quite growling back at her.

When she launched herself at him, there was no more time to talk as he grabbed at her arms, wanting to make sure that she couldn't pull a knife on him. He was furious and all he wanted was for Kate to stop. He wasn't thinking more than just reacting. This wasn't a fight for his life or a calculated kill, this was brawling because he was angry and attacked and wanted this all to end.

[girlsolo]

He grabs her wrists and Kate doesn't fucking care. She's not trying to knife the bastard. If she was, he'd be bleeding already. She kicks out with both legs, twists one hand away and after that she's too pissed to catalog moves.

The fight is pure instinct. Roll, twist, strike, roll, punch, knee, roll again. Sometimes he's on top, sometimes she is. It's the same kind of fight she has in training with Declan, except that they're both actually landing the blows.

It has nothing to do with trying to beat information out of him, or really even with Will specifically at this point. She just...she hates him, she hates this place, she hates the uncertainty, she hates that Auggie's friend is missing, she hates that Magnus cries over her feelings for him (that Magnus cries at all), that Declan spent all of December in mourning for James, that Will got drunk over his feelings (he never gets drunk), that people she got stupid and sloppy enough to let herself care about are hurt and there's nothing she can do about it.

Maybe she hates more than anything that when she's trying so hard to be good, he makes her want to chuck it all, for a few hours, and arrange for something really really bad. Like Constantine bad. She's not that girl anymore, but he makes her want to be.

[iliketodruitt]

None of his blows were deadly and even with all his rage, his heart wasn't in it. John may have wanted her dead, but he didn't want to kill her. He was angry, perhaps even furious, but the longer they fought the more he realized that it was up to him as to whether or not he wanted to kill her. And he didn't. There was no fighting the urge, no having to hold himself back. No redirecting.

John had to laugh. There was no other way he could express himself, express the joy that he felt. John had felt clean since coming here, but he had never truly been tested, not like this.

"Stop," he said, chuckling as he pushed Kate away. "Stop, this is... this is madness. What are we hoping to prove? As much as I hate you, I'm not going to kill you. I don't even think I want to. You cannot imagine how wonderful it feels to hate without the desire or real urge to kill."

[girlsolo]

It takes a few seconds to recognize the sound because she's never heard it before. Weirdly, it doesn't sound creepy and maniacal like she would've thought. Just relieved. It kind of sounds like she feels right now, like everything black and angry in her just poured out and got wiped away.

She hurts like a bitch and she still hates this asshole, but it's a different kind of hate now. One that lets her sit up, hiding a wince, and lick the blood off her lip. "Glad we're clear on the hating part."

Kate curls herself around her knees for a minute and then pushes up to her feet. She doesn't have to, but she's going to anyway, offer a hand down to help him up. "Because I do, hate you. Don't see that changing any time soon. But I don't want to kill you. I don't even really want you dead. That's not going to help anything. I just want the people I care about to stop hurting because of you."

She frowns at him, long and hard, and then shakes her head (and wishes she hadn't because her face hurts). "Will's a lot smarter about this shit than I am, but I'm pretty sure that means I have to stop making it harder for them and you. What it doesn't mean is that I'm gonna stop watching you. I don't think you killed her. I don't think you're gonna snap and kill someone else. But that's not a chance I can take. We clear on that?"

[iliketodruitt]

John wiped away the blood from a split lip and took the offered hand up. What Kate was saying was probably the most sensible thing he'd heard from her since arriving on the island. To her credit, it was probably in reaction to the most transparent he had been to her ever. He doubted that he would ever truly like Kate, but perhaps he didn't have to see her as an antagonist.

"I wouldn't want you to stop watching me," he admitted. "For the same reason I asked Will to be my therapist despite how difficult it is for him... no one is going to look harder for signs of any returning madness than he is. As much as it genuinely pains me to cause someone Helen loves so much pain, there is no one else on this island I trust to do the job. Considering all it has cost me, it cannot come as a great surprise that I do not wish to return to what I was."

[girlsolo]

Kate's lips start to draw back in a little feral smile (a smile, and a honest one, just not a nice one), and she hisses under her breath before jamming her wrist against her lip to stop the bleeding she forgot about.

"If you're saying you trust me not to let you kill someone, I think I'm touched." Her tone says not at all, but there's a flicker of respect in it anyway. It matches the way she keeps making herself a target so if he does go off, it's her he goes after.

Her gaze narrows a little and she thinks about it. In a lot of ways, he's right. He's the reason she's with Magnus in the first place, and maybe that's part of why she hates him as much as she does, but it's also why he's her responsibility. "It's kind of my job, and if I can't do anything else for her and Will, at least I can do this."

It doesn't make it any less shitty, what he's doing to Will, but if she looks at it like that, like she and Will are doing their jobs, then it feels like home again. Like she has to tolerate him but she doesn't have to like him and it's the same for Will.

[iliketodruitt]

"That is precisely what I am saying," John said, glad that they had cleared that up. As long as he was able to recognize that she was merely doing her job and not necessarily making it completely personal, he supposed he could be begrudgingly grateful for it. He didn't like her, but he could respect her and perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt.

"And you have my admiration and respect for looking out for your family."

[girlsolo]

Right up until he says family, Kate's prepared to scoff and tell him he's pushing it. But that word, it pings hard for her. Him saying it knocks the cap off another pressure valve, releasing something pent up. As long as he realizes, like her or not, that they are her family and she's not going anywhere, there's something to work from.

Instead of running her mouth for once, she nods. For almost thirty seconds, she chews on a thought. She hates it, but in the end, she's going to do it. For Will's sake, for her family she'll ask.

"Like I said, I get why it has to be Will. And why it has to be me. But it still sucks for him because he takes doctor-patient confidentiality seriously and he can't just blow off steam. Cut him a little slack? Tell him it's okay if he needs to talk to me. Magnus tells me most stuff anyway and he's still going to protect your secrets. It'll just be easier for him, if there's someone he can talk to who isn't going to defend you if he's feeling stung." Yeah and here's the hard part, because he's probably going to fucking say no, but she still has to say it. She lifts her head and meets his gaze and tacks on an entirely genuine, "Please?"

[iliketodruitt]

"I will let him know that he's welcome to talk to you about such things, so long as you give me your word you will keep them confidential," John said. He wasn't entirely comfortable with that and he probably would censor himself even more, but doing Kate a favor would go a long way and he imagined that it was difficult for her to ask him. Especially to say please.

[girlsolo]

It has to be the day that it's funny, him asking for her word. She doesn't smirk, though, just nods. She's a liar, but she doesn't give her word because she won't break it. So if she does give it... "Yeah, okay. As long as no one's life is in danger, it's Sanctuary business and it stays that way."

[iliketodruitt]

"I believe I can live with that, so long as it stays between you and Will and no further unless you feel someone's life is in danger," John said with a nod. If someone's life was in danger, he absolutely wanted her to tell others about it so that a death could be prevented. He also didn't want her blabbing anything to Helen either. He didn't think she would, but she had said "Sanctuary business" and John wanted it clear that she wasn't to confide these things in Helen.

"And I don't mean to be rude, but I do consider Joan a friend and would very much like to continue searching for her."

[girlsolo]

"Right. 'Perish forbid' we should be rude after all this." Kate smirks, but it's lost it's sharpest edges. She's tired and Joan's still lost and if it's not his fault, she's still wasted too many hours chasing him when she should've been looking for Joan.

Quickly, she rattles off the places in the caves she knows where someone might get lost or hurt. "I'll go out toward dinosaur territory."

[iliketodruitt]

"Try not to get killed while in that area?" John said, smiling politely to her before she headed off. She had given him a good idea of where to start searching and would cut down on his time.

"It would be a terrible inconvenience if you died while in the midst of accusing me of murder."