[For Savannah, William, Sam] Jan. 22: cradles and rocking chairs beneath the light

[girlsolo]

After leaving Sam at breakfast, Kate takes an extra few minutes to pull her shit together before heading in to the Children's Office. William doesn't know yet, and he shouldn't find out from her. That means she can't be weird and hover and hug him too much, because he's damned smart.

She stops in the women's bathroom to wash her face and take a breath. In the mirror, she checks her everything's fine mask. Yeah, that's a lie she can still tell. Except the hints of bruising under her eye and on her jaw, there's nothing to say it's been a hell of a seven days.

Because everything's fine means quick-moving no time for doing it the right way, she lifts her shirt and dries her face on it. Selling a story is about the little details. William won't notice and she doesn't much need to sell Savannah. It'll just be easier if it's not written all over her how much it's fucking with her.

Probably doesn't help she's barely seen Declan since he brought Joan and Emily by on the way to the clinic. Days later, she's cooled down enough to accept that she asked him to do something he just couldn't and she loves him for it. But it's a fucking mess of an impasse because him being like that makes her feel weak and vulnerable when she needs to feel strong.

Whatever. She'll deal with Declan later. Tomorrow. Maybe tonight. If he can just leave like Sam's husband... She bares her teeth at herself in the mirror. Pull it together, Freelander.

A few minutes later, she's walking into the Children's Office. Each kid that looks up gets a smile and she tips her chin to Savannah when she gets near her. "Hey. Sorry I'm a little late. Something important came up. Will the kids be okay if we step into the hall for a few minutes?" She doesn't want to talk about Jack where any of them can overhear.

*
Title lyrics from Kings of Leon, "Frontier City".

Comments

[seeyousoonthen]

"It's not stupid at all. That's part of what we do, if you ask me. This is a safe space for the kids and no matter what else is going on they can be okay here."

She peeked through the door and then looked at Kate.

"If he doesn't know then it's not our place to tell him. But we can still have a fun day. Maybe we could do an art project and he can make something for Sam. Come on, Kate," she said, warm and gentle. "Let's get to work. Let's make it a good day before everything goes topsy turvy for him."

[girlsolo]

"Yeah, no. We won't tell him." She'd promised Sam they wouldn't and would try to see he didn't find out by accident.

Kate glances through the door herself, sees little William playing happily, and her heart wants to break for him. Poor kid. "I told Sam that I would tell Will, so he could come and check on William--" And Sam, but that's a different issue. "But I can do that in a little while."

Taking a breath, Kate pulls herself back together again. She's getting soft. It's too easy to rattle her, but she'll worry about that later. And-- "Oh. I hope it's not a problem. I also said she should take whatever time she needed for herself and I, um, we would watch William until she was ready to come get him."

[seeyousoonthen]

"It's not a problem at all. It's precisely why we have the day care in the first place," Savannah assured her. "Come on, you can help the kids be tidy foxes and clean up and I'll mix up some salt dough to make some sculptures. That sounds like a fun activity."

It was devastating and her heart went out to Sam and to William, but all a body could do was forge on. It was hard, a damned marathon every day, sometimes. But you couldn't just lay down and die.

So sculpture time it was.

[girlsolo]

"Tidy foxes?" Kate says and screws up her face. She gives Savannah one of those whose mother are you? looks that, but it's totally without teeth. It's kind of a relief, because it's normal on a day when things don't feel normal at all. "Okay. I'll go help them clean up their dens. And then we'll make sculptures."

Maybe it'll help. Somehow. If not, she'll go run and do target practice later or something.