girlsolo | [For Declan] Jan 22: when I don't know what to say

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[For Declan] Jan 22: when I don't know what to say

She's been here since September. Been through people getting powers, people coming, people going, the island itself changing, finding out that she's maybe fictional or some kind of crap, but it's really not until today Kate's realized just how much this place fucks with her. Over breakfast, she finds out one of the people she really likes and respects lost her husband and now she's like five months pregnant and raising the kid of someone else who left her. By herself. The kid - who she fucking loves, okay? and, whatever, just she does - lost his mom, his uncle, and now his step-dad in a place that's way too safe for death to be something you just get like she and Thad did.

And when she comes home to detox for an hour before going to make up with her boyfriend, because she's been a complete fucking jackass for a week and he could just disappear any second without her ever getting to fix it, there's this sweet set up on her porch. A laptop with a huge screen and killer resolution, long life batteries, cords, speakers, HDMI for TV hookup, seriously everything a chick could want. There's a gold bow on top and a card that says "For Kate Freelander," and when she powers it up, it's got a sick media library. Movies, tv, music, games. She's not even sure whether to laugh or cry. Which she doesn't do. Cry. Not much. Not often. Not because it's weak or whatever. It's just not her thing.

She shakes her head and packs it all up in one of her woven hemp bags. Cleans herself up. Then spends about ten minutes deciding what face she's wearing when she goes to see Declan. Leather, lace, trench coat? She lines her eyes with some kohl and smudges some berry colored stain on her mouth but she's still not sure. Maybe jewelry will settle it. With a flick of her hand, she opens the box (not her box, and fuck if she doesn't miss that) and --

The light catches on a flash of bright silver and deep, rich blue. It's beautiful.

Kate doesn't cry, but when she lifts out the bracelet and slides it around her wrist, the kohl on her eyes smears and her lashes are wet. No one's ever given her anything like this before. She's an idiot.

* * *

Half an hour later, she's on Declan's doorstep with their new system, wearing refreshed makeup, the bracelet he gave her, and a straight-up Kate face. Black leather, black lace, blue top and jeans. She knocks because it's been a week and he won't be expecting her.

"Declan?"

*
Title lyrics from Pat Benatar's We Belong.

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He knows what it means and he needs it as much as she seems to, at the moment. "Nothing to remember right now but us," he says lowly, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth. It's true enough - there's nothing he wants more than to take away some of the hurt of the last few days. He tugs at her hand to take her back to bed.

"Come on, then?"

Us. God, that word used to give her hives. Now it just feels like something sliding into lock, sun on her face, relief. The way he kisses her after just should make her cringe but it can't, when her heart's doing flip flops in her chest and she's missed him so much.

"I forget," she murmurs when she winds her arms around his neck, then draws her legs up his to wrap around his hips. When she said nothing but him, she meant nothing. Not even the floor. Kate quirks a grin against his mouth for that thought and then brushes her mouth against his. "When we're apart, I forget how good this feels."

Declan slides his arms around her to support her as he carries her back. She's slight, for how strong she is, and in moments like this it's only highlighted.

He walks them into the bedroom, slow and steady, and lays her down.

"This better, then?"

"No." Kate pulls out the bedroom eyes and sultry not-really-pouting pout, then hooks her fingers in the neck of his shirt and tugs him down. "There are still clothes and distance and not enough you involved."

It's not necessary and she knows it, but a little baby I want you's never a bad thing. Especially when it's so fucking true it hurts.

"Not enough me? How much me do you want?" Declan teases, sliding his hands under her shirt to help tug it off. He needs them skin to skin sooner rather than later and the way Kate's acting, he suspects that she agrees. It's never a bad thing, when they're physical instead of trying to use their words.

"Love you, Katie."

"All of you. All over me." Once she'd told him any part of him in any part of her was okay, and that's always going to be true. Anything he wants with her, he can have, especially if it involves driving her out of her mind or fucking her until her teeth rattle.

She arches up off the bed, slow, making a show out of letting him undress her. His hands feel good on her skin anyway and her eyes fall closed, head tilting back and hair tumbling off her shoulders. "Love you, too, babe."

"Might be more literal than you want," Declan warns. He gets possessive when they're kissing and making up and he's grateful they don't actually fight that often. It might be...explosive otherwise.

He tugs her bra down, instead of off, and lowers his head to kiss and suck at one of her nipples. He'll get it off soon, yes, but for now he just needs her and he hopes Kate can indulge him.

"When have I ev-- oh. God." Her fingers slide into his hair and hold him down to her. Fuck, she doesn't care what they have on or don't. It's been seven days and she didn't even get herself off because it was cheating (okay, because she knew they would make up and waiting always makes it hotter) and now her body's making her pay for it. She kind of hopes he does too. Make her break and beg for him or just make her feel so good she can't think, as long as it's him, giving her what he wants her to have, whatever it is, that's good with her.

"Ever complained about you marking me or coming on me or getting your mouth all over me?" she finally manages to get out when he lets up for a breath, but the pleasure's curling up through her so fast and hot her eyes are already starting to roll back in her head.

Declan lifts his head and grins at her, pleased with her reaction and, well, himself. It's not exactly the most becoming thing but Declan really doesn't give a damn, not when it's been a week since he's had his Katie.

"Never but I'm a little desperate." More than a little, based on how he's sliding his hands under her to finish getting that bra off and once it's dealt with, lowering his mouth to her other breast.

Kate's sensitive. Like really sensitive. They've never actually tried, but she's pretty sure he could make her come like this. She's been thinking about it since the time he wouldn't fuck her and then made her come all over his hands. He's fuck... fuck god damn.

Her hips rock and back arches up off the bed to press her into his mouth and it's probably a good thing he still has a shirt on or he'd be bleeding from the way her hands just raked down his back. "Just so long...uhgod...babe..." One hand falls away from his back to curl in the sheets already. "So long as you don't... mind the...tiger stripes." Because whatever he does to her, he's getting it back in spades. It's been a week since she had him, too.

"War wounds are always worn with pride," Declan says cheekily, turning his cheek slightly to scrape his stubble against her skin. It's a little out of the usual, maybe, but she's tactile and he's trying things out.

He lays a kiss between her breasts and moves his mouth down her stomach to her navel while his hands find her waistband and settle there.

"War, huh?" The scrape of stubble's hot more for knowing he's deliberately scratching her than the feeling of it but if he rubs it in the right places, it would get real interesting real fast. God. "That mean I get to battle back, suck you until you beg for it?" She's just talking trash. Sucking him off like that's going to have wait until morning. She needs him too much right now.

She drags her nails against the back of his neck to get his attention for something serious. "No more asking tonight, yeah? Take what you want. The answer's yeah. Trust me to stop you if that changes."

"After I fuck you a few times, yes," Declan says dryly, yanking her jeans and panties down enough that he can get to her skin. Once he can, he takes his time kissing her hips and thighs, leaving little marks where he can. It's a little harsher than usual but more out of need than anything else.

God, he needs her. He's never needed a woman the way he needs Kate and he's never had a woman rile him the way she does.

"Goddamn, you're hot when you get your Alpha badass on," Kate purrs, and then trails off into a hot, breathy moan. Seriously, there's nothing hotter for her than him needing her like this. Losing himself in the pleasure he gets from her. It's the good side of him being overprotective when she's hurt that when she's not, he's possessive as fucking hell.

She twists and writhes under him, every little dark bruise in her skin driving her up. Yeah, it's a little kinked, but she gets off on him losing control. Sue her. It's the British thing.

Declan puts a little more bite into the next mark, right on the tender flesh of her inner thigh, and while he kind of wants to analyze the whole Alpha badass comment, he's too busy being one to really mull it over. Maybe later when he's able to think straight but right now it's just Kate.

He deals with his shirt one handed while he kisses and licks his way up her thighs and it's awkward to shrug it off but he'll deal with the shoulder twinge later. Now, there's just Katie.

Between a low whine for the bite (she really, really loves that little burst of pain with the pleasure of him sucking against her skin) and softer sounds that are definitely not whimpers from the wetter claims he's making on her skin, Kate wriggles upright to help him with his shirt and kiss a few marks of her own into his shoulder and neck. But it's short-lived. He definitely knows what he wants tonight and it's not her doing anything but being done.

She's pretty damned okay with that, and steals a few seconds to work the rest of her clothes off. It's hard to focus on untying her boots with the heels of the opposite boot when his mouth is so fucking close to her cunt every breath makes her shiver.

"Stop moving," Declan says after a moment, lifting his head and sliding his hands down to work on her boots and her clothes. It's certainly an order but there's no bite to it, just simply stating fact.

It's more efficient if he just does this for her anyway and, besides, it's fitting with this odd, possessive mood he's in. He tosses the boots off to the side before yanking at her jeans. "Now, you can move."

Oh goddamn. Part of her wants to kick him for that, but it's way quieter than the part of her that stops, instantly, at that tone. Kate goes still, so completely still there's no way for him to miss that she just rolled like a bitch in heat for him telling her what to do.

Her face flushes hot along with the rest of her. She's played at that kind of submission before, made herself go along with it. But that's the first time an order ever slid up her spine that way. Fuck. So good.

It's so good, she just shrugs lightly and traces her fingertips down the bulge of his bicep when he tells her she can move again. "No reason to. Everything I want's right here." It's oddly soft, not tentative or subdued, but certain.

That stops him in his tracks and Declan's not really sure what to do with it. He's never really played at this before except, well, it's sort of how he plays with Kate more and more often.

Declan's not sure when or how that happened but it makes sense. So does brushing his hand back against her cheek tenderly. It makes just as much sense as his next words.

"Go on, then. Finish getting me undressed so we can get to more interesting things."

"Don't push it," Kate soft-snarls at him, eyes rolling. She's not ticked and that's in her eyes and the stroke of her fingers against his skin. But whatever the fuck just happened, it's got some hard limits. If he wants her to shut up or be still, that's not a problem, but personal service? Not her kink. And she definitely doesn't want the tenderness mixed up in it. It's a sex thing, not an emotion thing.

But she does sit up enough to help him out of his boots and unzip his pants. It's easier for her to do than him and she wants to be clear that the limits not about getting his clothes off but about him turning it into some kind of order. Besides, she's so damned hot for him right now. Skin. Skin sooner rather than later. That's her motive.

Declan falls quiet and lets her get his clothes off before he lays back against the bed. Whatever happened before doesn't seem to be how she wants to go on and he's too damn turned on to play with it.

Instead, once he's naked, he lays back against the bed and tugs her close so he can kiss her, long, hot and completely thoroughly.

Not that Kate's complaining about being kissed, but Declan's doing that thing he does when he's confused. Call a spade a spade, Freelander, when you confuse him. He knows what works. He knows what the limits on that are, and he's freaked out she's going to bolt on him so he doesn't push. Especially when they've been fighting.

Thing is, Kate likes him pushy and aggressive and toppy as hell. Fighting back's just part of the heat of it, part of helping him channel it toward what she wants.

"Hey," she murmurs at him, still hot, but with her fingers sliding down his spine, love in them. "It's okay. I like when you get all toppy on me." Kate nips at his ear. "I'm just not into personal service. NBD. I'm not going anywhere. Need you too much." It's kind of a huge admission, but she thinks maybe he needs to hear it. Almost as much as she needs him to make sure she knows she's his.

"Toppy? Is that the technical term for wanting you to hold still so I can make love to you?" Declan asks, feeling a little better about the whole thing. It's not his thing, being excessively kinky, and while he knows Kate's probably game for it, he's just a regular bloke with regular tastes.

Except sometimes he wants to just be pushy and demanding and have her go along with it. They're both like bulls, stubborn as hell, and sometimes it's nice to fight and win.

Kate threads her fingers into his hair and tugs his mouth down to her throat. She tilts her head aside, offering up. "It's the technical term for you being dominant and possessive, yeah."

It's new, talking about what she wants, but it's okay. Really okay. Her voice is hot and husky and telling him what she likes is turning her on a lot. "I like you taking control, taking me. If you want me to be still or spread or be quiet or get on my knees, all good. Want to tie me up and make me come or don't let me, that's good. I just don't like the service stuff, dressing, undressing, polishing boots, fetching stuff. That's not for me. I..."

How is she supposed to explain it when it just is?

"Need you to want me, want to make me yours, to have me how you want me...that make sense?"

"You are mine, don't need to make you mine," Declan points out, sucking a dark mark against her throat. "I missed you this week. It's going to take a while before I'm done, unfortunately."

Or fortunately, as Declan likes to think of it. Now that he's back on track, it's better.

"Want you to suck me. Think you can do that without letting me come?"

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