girlsolo | [For Declan] Quick fix and heartbeats, gets me so easily

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[For Declan] Quick fix and heartbeats, gets me so easily

It's been days since she's seen him. Since the day she took Will's baseball. It's not...it is because she's been avoiding him, but not because of the sex. Or him caring. Or her caring. She just..

She'd needed to do this alone.

Kate had needed to take the things she did, replace them the way she did. Will would say she was 'working through' something. Maybe. Or maybe she just needed to screw up and get caught so she could remember how that felt. Or maybe it was the same thing. Whatever it was, Declan couldn't have ridden shotgun on this one. He'd have stopped her and she'd have let him.

She doesn't want him to be her prison warden. To have to hold her leash. To have to clean up after her and she knows he will if she lets him. But it's okay tonight. The mess is managed, same as the mischief. It's on her head and no one else's.

Tonight, Kate doesn't want Declan for something. She just wants Declan.

He's not there when she gets to his hut. She could let herself in, but she won't. Instead, she parks her ass on the porch stairs and waits. If anything, the peace and quiet's kind of nice. The stars don't look familiar, but when she looks up at them, they're beautiful anyway.

*Title and lj-cut lyrics from The Sounds' Queen of Apology.

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"Understable, in a way," Declan says quietly. It's been a while since he's lost anyone close, probably James and Ashley, if he's honest, and he was much closer to the former than the latter.

It never stops hurting, though, and he's not sure that if he was faced with the Cabal agent that killed Ashley he wouldn't be tempted to do the same thing Kate was almost tempted to do.

"So you...took it, then? The baseball?"

"Yeah." It sounds like he understands. Maybe not the same way a shrink would understand. Like Will would. But in a different way, one that...feels a lot safer.

"And then I went to Trixa's place because she's like me. I thought if I took a look around, I might find out some stuff we needed to know. There wasn't anything and I got freaked out and pissed. So I took something of hers. But I knew it was something important to her and I didn't want to hurt her. So, the next day I went and gave that to someone else. And took something of theirs. It was..." Kate shrugs, hoping he'll get it. "Kind of a prank. A way to blow off some steam without really hurting anyone. I know it was stupid. But...I always run, when I feel like this. Now there's nowhere to go."

"No way to change your name and move to the next town and the next mark, no," Declan says after a long moment. He guesses that would be the kiss of death for a con like Kate but the Kate he knows isn't just a con anymore.

"So why did you come here, then? After you've been avoiding me all week, why come here?"

Kate lifts her chin to look him in the eyes again, solid. "I couldn't come here, be with you, not when I was like that. I had to finish it." Which she did. She was putting the last thing where it would be found, not stealing anything else. They caught her because Will tipped them off and because she got sloppy, maybe on purpose. "Had to do it for me, not because you'd think less of me."

There. Maybe she's shaking and feels like she wants to bolt but it's said. She doesn't want to be the old Kate anymore. And...he knows. It matters what he thinks of her. It matters a lot.

"Came back..." Her voice drops and her fingers curl against his skin. "You know me." She shrugs, awkward with the truth after so many lies, but comfortable with him. Too comfortable. "And I just...really missed you."

Edited 2011-10-02 09:06 (UTC)

"Missed you too, love," Declan says easily, wrapping his arms a little more firmly around her. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, of course, but she's a little vulnerable right now and that hits him and makes him want to protect her. Maybe she won't call him on it.

"Which is why I went out looking for you."

Kate never wants to be held. Not like this. Never. But she's not going to drink it all away, nowhere to run, new sexual conquests feel like razor wire slices. If he wants to hold onto her, that's okay. Tonight. It's fine. Because she just wants him.

"Yeah?" She aims for smoky, but doesn't quite get there. It's more please tell me you wanted me than she ever wants to hear coming from her. "Didn't trust that I'd come back on my own?" That sounds more like Kate Freelander, even if it's not edged, not at all.

"I didn't want to wait around any longer. Got impatient," Declan admits and that's mostly the truth. He could have waited her out, he supposes, but it's better to have her in his arms without waiting any longer.

"Turns out I didn't have to be, I guess."

"Not gonna lie and say I'll always come back." Not gonna lie. Since when? She knows when. But since when is telling the truth easier?

"At home...I probably wouldn't have come back. Not until we had to work together again." Kate tucks her head back down to his shoulder and smooths his shirt, but messes it up again when her hand slides back under it. "But we're not home. Nowhere to run now. When I try, I always end up here."

Here. In his arms. With him.

"You should have come to me in the first place," Declan says, wondering how that'd go. Would it make her angry?

"When you're feeling like you need to run, you should run to me."

"I don't need a babysitter." Kate stiffens, not exactly pulling away but squaring up for a fight. Anyone else said that and she'd be at the door and fists flying. With him, it's just a warning blip on the radar. "If I wanted that, Will's already claimed the job." And if not him then Sam.

She's not sure she likes the spark of heat in her eyes when she rests her nails against his stomach. "Want you, yeah. But not for that."

"What do you want me for, then?"

Declan has a good idea but he wants to hear it from her mouth and know she wants it and she's not just going along with it because it suits her to at the time. Bit selfish of him, maybe, but he cares about her and he wants her to care just as much.

For a minute, Kate is so still she might not even be there. Not breathing, not moving, her heart might not even be beating.

"For me," she finally answers, a low, catscratch of a claim. It's as much a threat as an answer. What Kate Freelander wants for herself she takes. That much hasn't changed. Except in all the ways it has. Because she wants him for him, too. She just doesn't know how to say that.

"Come claim me, then," Declan says, and while he means it as a joke it comes out a little more seriously than he intended.

"You're what I want too, Kate. More than I thought I would, believe me."

That's all it takes to unleash...everything. Her fingernails sink into his skin and she shifts in his lap, straddling him so fast there's no time for him to adjust.

"Don't say it like that if you don't mean it," Kate says, a low warning growl in her tone before she kisses him. Her teeth graze his bottom lip and her mouth is hard on his. It's not as desperate as the last time, just hungry.

"Of course I mean it," Declan scoffs in a break between kisses. His hands thread into her hair and hold her still so he can kiss her the way he wants: slow, measured and nothing approaching frenzied.

"Later, I wanna know why," she warns him, the rising need in her kisses not masked at all by him making her take it slow. She rolls her hips to press herself down over him. Everything else disappearing in the summer-storm heat of this thing between them. "Later."

"Later. Not talking now," Declan murmurs, nipping at her lower lip to try and make it clear that he needs this before they do any more talking. He needs her.

He slides his hands down to her hips and presses her a little more firmly into his lap.

"Yeah," Kate agrees, a little breathy already while her hands tug at his shirt, trying to get it off. "Bed, babe? I want..." What doesn't she want?

It surprises her she has an answer to that. Tonight, at least, what she doesn't want is: anyone but him.

"I want too," Declan agrees, tugging her along with him. He wants it more than he can possibly say and doesn't want to screw that up by saying so, but he can show her.

When he gets to the bed, he cups her face in both his hands before kissing her, long and slow and deep.

His mouth over hers is like...like someone striking one of those gong-things in a Hindu temple and standing too close. It runs down her spine and into her knees. As fucking cliche is that is, they feel weak.

No one's ever kissed her like this. She knows it. Fuck, she knows it. Worse, she wants it. And instead of running or pushing or taking, Kate just tugs his shirt free and slides her hands under it and stays right here. With Declan.

Something gives a little in the kiss and Declan pulls her closer, not wanting to break it to ask if that's all right. When she slides her hands under his shirt, Declan knows he's made the right call about that.

"Want me, then?"

"Don't be a dick, Declan," Kate whispers, hot and needy, deep-down, scary-as-fuck, not-for-sex needy. It's affectionate, but there's an edge to it. "Told you I don't do this. But I'm back for it. For you."

Don't push. Please don't push. It's there in her eyes if he knows her as well as he thinks he does. As she thinks he does. She pushes her hands up his back and holds on. If he pushes, she's going to break.

"I'm not being a dick," Declan promises, nuzzling just under her jaw and kissing along her throat. "Just want to make you feel good, Katie, because it makes me feel good too."

"I'm good with that kind of feeling." It's not as sassy as it should be, but it's been a long week and an even longer month.

She steps away, skins off her jacket and her shirt, and steps out of her jeans. Her underwear's not Magnus's negligee nice, but she looks hot in black lace. And she wants him thinking with his dick for awhile.

"Good with you feeling me, too."

"Plan to," Declan says, taking a moment to watch her in all that black lace. It's a damned good look for her, if he says so himself, and he loops an arm around her and pulls her close again, hand sliding down to cup her ass.

"You look bloody gorgeous, Katie."

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